Coffee Quotes

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vampyrewolf
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Coffee Quotes

Postby vampyrewolf » Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:53 pm

Given enough coffee, I could rule thw world.

Coffee N Break Fluid

If it ain't caffinated, it ain't coffee.

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." (T S Elliot)

A morning without coffee is like sleep.

C:COFFEE.CUP missing SysOp Halted.

I don't do decaf.

I'm Javalicious.

"I never laugh until i've had my coffee" (Clark Gable)

I don't have a problem with caffine. I have a problem without it!

Back to the grind.

"If it waren't for coffee, I'd have no discernable personality at all." (David Letterman)

C.P.R. Coffee Provides Resuscitation

I'm not good 'til I've had the last drop.

Drink your coffee. Remember, there are people in China sleeping.

"I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless." (Napoleon Bonaparte)

C:COFFEE.POT missing <A>bort <R>etry <F>all asleep?

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

Wake me up on payday.
Coffee before Conciousness
Why do people worry more if you argue with your voices than if you just talk with them? What about if you lose those arguements?
Slowly going crazy at work... they found a way to make the voices work too.

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silverback
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Postby silverback » Thu Mar 03, 2005 2:53 am

  • "A mathematician is a system for turning coffee into theorems" - Paul Erdos, mathematical genius of the 20th century
  • "Remember, even if you don't love coffee, coffee loves you." - Alex Gottschalk
  • "If you stare into the brew long enough, the brew begins to stare back" - Friedrich Nietzsche (modified)
  • "Wake up and smell the maple-nut-crunch!" - Denis Leary (hates flavoured coffee)
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. -George Bernard Shaw

Go is a pursuit of such value that one can devote a lifetime to it and have nothing to regret. Why not, then, challenge the limit of your powers. -Toshiro Kageyama 7-Dan

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CKE
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Postby CKE » Thu Mar 03, 2005 9:25 am

I was advised by my doctors and chiropractor to cut back on my caffine intake about a year ago. One of the first times I ordered a large black decaf the girl replied "One large why bother" I laughed my butt off. Still one of my favourite coffee quotes :)
Keep Fighting the Good Fight!

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Stuart Ackerman
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Postby Stuart Ackerman » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:06 pm

My cat would say... " Before I have had my coffee in the morning, I must as well be a dog!"

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spyderknut
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Postby spyderknut » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:37 pm

I like my coffee like I like my women, Strong and Black. :D

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Stevie Ray
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Postby Stevie Ray » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:55 pm

I work with a guy that's a Starbucks fiend. Last summer we were in Houston at a meeting and he offered to buy at the hotel's Starbucks outlet. Get this one .... With a serious face he orders ...., and I quote,

"I'll have a Grande Cappuccino ... Wet .... With three spanks .." :eek:

Translated ... he wanted a large cappuccino, more milk .. less foam, and 3 shakes of powdered chocolate ...

Nice ... :D
Steve

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Milu
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Postby Milu » Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:03 am

"Black as the devil, hot as hell and sweet as an angel's kiss" - Talleyrand
My father always taught me not to trust a man who was not interested in cars, guns and knives.

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Clay Kesting
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Postby Clay Kesting » Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:13 pm

A morning without coffee is like sleep.
This might have to be my new signature. :D

clay
"The best boats are either small enough to carry home, or big enough to live on." Phillip C. Bolger (1927-2009)

hanswurst
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Postby hanswurst » Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:36 pm

don't drink coffee in the morning. it will keep you awake 'til noon.

go ahead.. make my coffee

oops... mental note: get coffee colored shirts

marco

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java
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Postby java » Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:58 pm

vampyrewolf wrote:I'm Javalicious.
You're makin' me nervous capitalizin the Java, Patrick..... :o

A fig for partridges and quails,
ye dainties I know nothing of ye]Breakfast at Sweethearts[/i]

As with art 'tis prepared, so one should drink it with art --Arab Proverb

Pure as an angel, Sweet as love. -- Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord;

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. -- Paul Erdos

Coffee falls into the stomach ... ideas begin to move,
things remembered arrive at full gallop ... the shafts
of wit start up like sharp-shooters, similies arise,
the paper is covered with ink ... Honore de Balzac

Coffee is not supposed to be a solid. -- Maj. Winchester, M.A.S.H.

Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death & sweet as love. -- Turkish proverb

Coffee, tea, monster, coffee, tea, monster -- Dot Warner, Animaniacs

Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised. – Janeway, Voyager

Coffee is a very good conductor! -- Anthony Thyssen

Coffee is the common man's gold, and like gold it brings to every man the feeling of luxury and nobility. Coffee differs from pure, gentle milk only in its taste and color...... Where coffee is served there is grace and splendor and friendship and happiness. -- Sheik Ansari Djezeri Hanball Abd-al-Kadir

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. -- Alphonse Allais

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water. -- The Women's Petition Against Coffee, 1674

Coffee, which makes the politicians wise,
And see through all things with his half-shut eyes. -- Alexander Pope, The Rape of the Lock

Complacencies of the peignoir, and late
Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair.
And the green freedom of a cockatoo
Upon a rug mingle to dissipate
The holy hush of ancient sacrifice -- Wallace Stevens

Computer, coffee! Hot! In a cup this time! Janeway, Voyager

Did you ever have the feeling that the world was an AC coffee pot and you were DC? -- Dean Alan Foster, Glory Lane

Dreams fly away as she pulls another cappuccino -- Cold Chisel, Breakfast at Sweethearts

The drink that comforteth the brain and heart and helpeth digestion. -- Bacon

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something. -- Josephine Baker

How long can an adult human live without a double late? -- Sliders

How sweet coffee tastes! Lovlier than a thousand kisses, sweeter than Muscatel wine! --Johann Sebastian Bach (Coffee Cantata)

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee. -- Flash Rosenberg

I don't want anything better, I want coffee. Captain Janeway, Voyager, The Cloud

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee -- Carly Simon: You're so vain

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time. -- Steven Wright

"If I were your wife I would put poisin in your coffee." -- Nancy Astor
"... and if I were your husband I would drink it. -- Winston Churchill

I like my coffee strong, not lethal! -- Col. Potter: Mash

It is caffeine alone that sets my mind in motion.
It is through beans of java that thoughts acquire speed,
that hands acquire shakes, that shakes become a warning...
I am...IN CONTROL...OF MY ADDICTION!
From the Minicon Graffiti Wall, 1989

It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom. -- Jonathan Swift, The Conduct of the Allies (1711)

Last comes the beverage of the Orient shore,
Mocha, far off, the fragrant berries bore.
Taste the dark fluid with a dainty lip,
Digestion waits on pleasure as you sip. -- Pope Leo XII

Let no man grumble when his friends fall off,
As they will do like leaves at the first breeze;
When your affairs come round, one way or t'other,
Go to the coffee-house, & take another. -- Byron, Don Juan

Look here, Steward, if this is coffee, I want tea; but if this is tea, then I wish for coffee. -- Punch cxxiii 44 1902

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odour to the nostrils. -- Henry Ward Beecher

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness. -- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Nothing'll make a father swear before the children quicker than a cup of poor coffee. -- K. Hubbard

Set a new course. There's coffee in that nebula. -- Captain Janeway, Voyager: The Cloud

Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night. -- Prince Tallyrand

Thank you for your coffee, signor. I shall miss that when we leave Casablanca.
--Ingrid Bergman, Casablanca

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak. -- Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks. -- Sir James Mackintosh

When we drink coffee, ideas march in like the army. -- Honore de Balzac

To drink is human, to drink coffee is divine! -- Unknown

You are lucky because you caught me in a transitional phase. I was sitting here, eating my muffin, drinking my coffee, and I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity. -- Jules, Pulp Fiction[/]

"M-m-m-m-m-m sweet buttered coffee beans. Is there anything coffee can’t do???? " -- Java the Black

I'll bet I have a "couple more of these laying about.......
When I said that mercy stood
Within the border of the wood
I meant the lenient beast with claws
And bloody swift dispatching jaws.


Death Before Decaf!
!
:spyder:

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java
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Postby java » Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:00 pm

Unkown author coffee quotes:

A morning without coffee is like something without ... something else
All the coffee in Columbia won't make me a morning person.
Amazing what caffeine and no sense of self-preservation can do
Ambidextrose: Able to put sugar in coffee with either hand.
At 16 cups of coffee a day, sleep becomes irrelevant!
Bad day: The health inspector condemns your coffee maker.
Be a coffee-drinking individual...espresso yourself!
Be nice to me. I haven't had my coffee yet!
Been there, Done that, Got the T-Shirt and Coffee Cup.
Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.
Better Latte than Never.
Black as the devil, Hot as hell,
Blended coffee...today's & yesterday's.
Bother! said Pooh, as he put the coffee in the microwave.
Bought a decaffeinated coffee table - you can't even see a difference.
Brain dead. His coffee cup has more IQ.
Break time: Low coffee light is on.
Breakfast: a pot of coffee and a straw.
Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin!
Cappuccino is the dessert form of coffee.
Chocolate, men, and coffee - some things are better rich.
Choosing my weapons: Coffee and danishes at dawn.
Coffee (n.) a person who is coughed upon
Coffee Drinkers Anonymous Charter Member
Coffee is not for kids -- Bart Simpson Episode 9F09
Coffee line forms here. Take a number.
Coffee makes the world go round, love only populates it!
Coffee sweetened with No-Doz...Programmers' fuel...
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.
Coffee: The foundation of consciousness.
Coffee - The beans from Heaven!
Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.
Cool your coffee by holding it closer to your heart.
Death before Decaf!
Expresso yourself.
Decaf: Used to sober up after a night on non-alcoholic beer!
Decaff? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.
Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.
Deja Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before.
Do I like my coffee black? There are other colors?
Don't criticize the coffee, you may be old and weak someday yourself.
Don't drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.
Don't laugh at the coffee. Some day you, too, may be old and weak.
Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy!
Drink your coffee! People in India are sleeping!
Drink your coffee strong and black, you'll never be latte!
Espresso: just our little way of free-basing coffee.
Everybody should believe something. I believe I'll have more coffee.
Expergiscere et coffeam olface - Wake up and smell the coffee!
Filther: A used coffee filter
Floating point: the maximum amount of coffee consumable at one sitting.
Flying saucer: the result when a nudist spills his coffee.
Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
Go ahead... Make my coffee.
Hand over the coffee and no one gets hurt
Hot Coffee & cold pizza: the breakfast of champions !!!!
I eat coffee straight from the can. Why dilute it?
I hate coffee - it keeps me awake at work!
I like my coffee black as a moonless night.
I like my coffee like my women: hot, strong, steamy.
I make serious coffee. So strong it wakes up the neighbors.
If it ain't caffeinated, it ain't coffee!
If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever. – David Lettermen
If the spoon don't dissolve, it ain't coffee!
If you can thread a sewing machine while it's running you've had TOO much coffee!
Is there life before coffee?
If you want instant coffee, you'll have to wait!
I'm very efficient at work. I haven't missed a coffee break in 6 yrs.
Instant Human; just add coffee!
Is there life before coffee?
Just bring me my coffee, and s-l-o-w-l-y back away.
Life is easier with good coffee and a true friend.
Life is too short for bad coffee.
Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish!
Morning doesn't begin til AFTER that second cup of coffee.
My blood type is coffee.
No Questions Please! I haven't had my second cup of coffee yet!
On the eighth day God created coffee!
One Nation, with Liberty, Large Fries, and a Coffee to go!
Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
Please note: If found unconscious, administer espresso!
Sleep: Body function indicating lack of coffee.
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Slave to caffeine!
Some things in life are better rich; coffee, chocolate, men.
Take two cups and call me in the middle of the night!
There's too much blood in my caffeine system!
Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.
Where's my coffee? I could be unstoppable if I could just get started!
You know what separates humans from animals? Coffee!!!
You're the cream in my coffee.


Might have a couple of operands for the dark ambrosia as well........
When I said that mercy stood
Within the border of the wood
I meant the lenient beast with claws
And bloody swift dispatching jaws.


Death Before Decaf!
!
:spyder:

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java
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Postby java » Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:03 pm

vampyrewolf wrote:.

C:COFFEE.CUP missing SysOp Halted.

C:COFFEE.POT missing <A>bort <R>etry <F>all asleep?

C:>COFFEE.COM error. Contact programmer J. Valdez.

COFFEE.EXE Not Found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic?

COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.

Error running WAKEUP.BAT: COFFEE.INI not found.

Now aren't you sorry you asked. I guess it's time to do a web search to build up my old qoffee quote file....... :D
When I said that mercy stood
Within the border of the wood
I meant the lenient beast with claws
And bloody swift dispatching jaws.


Death Before Decaf!
!
:spyder:

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vampyrewolf
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Postby vampyrewolf » Sat Mar 05, 2005 10:48 pm

Keep em coming john... gave me a good 20min of reading and laughing my *** off. :D
Coffee before Conciousness
Why do people worry more if you argue with your voices than if you just talk with them? What about if you lose those arguements?
Slowly going crazy at work... they found a way to make the voices work too.

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Jimmy_Dean
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Postby Jimmy_Dean » Sun Mar 06, 2005 8:20 am

man you guys are good!
thanks for the posts, it's a really good read.
I love coffee but never thought of putting my feelings on paper, that's great

-Dean

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vampyrewolf
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Postby vampyrewolf » Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:05 am

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
--Alex Levine

Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat. ~Author Unknown

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend. ~Author Unknown

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee. ~Flash Rosenberg

Coffee has two virtues: it is wet and warm. ~Dutch Proverb

Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night. ~Prince Tallyrand

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical. ~Jonathan Swift

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself. ~Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. ~John Van Druten

Black as the devil, Hot as hell,
Pure as an angel, Sweet as love.
Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord;
Recipe for coffee

Black coffee, blue morning.

Black gold - not oil, but coffee!

Blend 'B', meanwhile, is a PROUD blend, defiant yet petulant...
a blend that grabs you, shakes you by the collar and cries,
'ACCEPT me, **** you, or turn me away - BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE
DON'T POLLUTE ME WITH NON-DAIRY CREAMER!'
Tripp Biscuit while coffee tasting.

COFFEE.CUP empty - Operator shelled out to COFFEE.POT

COFFEE.CUP not found: (W)ash, (R)e-use, (D)rink from pot?

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

COFFEE.EXE Not Found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic?

COFFEE.POT corrupted: Found failure in module FILTER.

COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.

COFFEE.SYS: NMI ACTIVATED ... coffee pot empty ...
Operator asleep

Coffee-Bean-T-1 :
1.5 million coffee coated cocoa beans every second
Peter Evans, alt.sysadmin.recovery

Coffee a Go-Go. We don't know what it means either.

Coffee & donuts: Unitarian communion.
Coffee before Conciousness
Why do people worry more if you argue with your voices than if you just talk with them? What about if you lose those arguements?
Slowly going crazy at work... they found a way to make the voices work too.

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vampyrewolf
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Postby vampyrewolf » Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:18 am

DCWPDGD: Drink Coffee, Write Program, Debug, Get Drunk

Genius invention :
A coffee maker that fits in a 1/2 height drive bay!

GOSUB:coffee; work;RETURN:

if( pot.coffee == EMPTY ) { programmer->;brain = OFF };

Kernal PANIC: Unable to mount /dev/coffee.machine
-- Operator Halted.

Operator out of coffee, taglines may become irrational

Parity Error, System Halted,
Pots out of Coffee, Refill to restart

Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.

PCB: Pause for Coffee Break

Picard always drank tea.
Kirk always drank coffee.
Any questions?

Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software

Put on a pot of coffee, I've got messages to read!

Ransom demand will be met. Just return the coffee pot

Reached coffee d/l limit must u/l now

Red eye special - A double espresso with a shot of coffee

RISING.SUN detected : (A)nother coffee, (C)old shower, (S)leep?

You know you've been playing too much Nethack when ...
You refer to coffee as a potion of sleep resistance.
Sweeney Todd Lundgren

Experts now generally agree that there is no consistent scientific evidence to prove coffee is detrimental to your health ... A recent study at the University of California at Davis even suggests that coffee may be good for you ... freshly brewed coffee contains antioxidant compounds that may carry as much power as vitamins C and E.

Denise Webb

The intelligent man who empties these cups of foaming coffee, he alone knows the truth. 16th century Arabic saying

The perfect cup of coffee wipes clean the windows of perception to sparkling, glassy brilliance. Chris Kilham
Coffee before Conciousness
Why do people worry more if you argue with your voices than if you just talk with them? What about if you lose those arguements?
Slowly going crazy at work... they found a way to make the voices work too.

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vampyrewolf
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Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada

Postby vampyrewolf » Fri Mar 11, 2005 1:24 am

This is what happens when I drink 16 cups of coffee in 4hrs :D :D :D :eek:
0100 and I'm still going.


Medicinal Properties of Coffee
Did You Know...

*that approximately 300 milligrams of caffeine a day (2 or 3 average strength cups) improves mood, alertness, and sense of well-being?
*that coffee drinkers have a three to six times lower risk of developing Parkinson's disease than non-coffee drinkers?
*that coffee is high in flavinoids, antioxidants that reduce oxidation of bad cholesterol?
*that coffee may help digest a meal by stimulating gastric secretions?
*that two or three cups of coffee a day may reduce the risk of gallstones by as much as 40%?
*that coffee consumption has not been shown to increase the risk of any type of cancer? - Chris Kilham, Psyche Delicacies
*that recent research also shows higher coffee intake may decrease the risk of type 2 diabetes by half for men and one third for women?
*that smokers and heavy drinkers show less heart disease and liver damage when they regularly consume large amounts of coffee? - Sid Kirchheimer, Web MD Feature


Coffee & History
Did you know...

*that coffee was said to have been discovered in Abyssinia in 850 A.D. by a goatherder who noticed his goats frolicking after eating the berries from a small tree?
*that the first coffee shop was called Kiva Han and opened in Constantinople in 1475?
*that by the year 1630, Cairo, Egypt alone had over 1,000 coffeehouses in operation?
*that the famous insurance company, Lloyd's of London, started as a coffeehouse in 1688?
*that in the 1700's, coffeehouses in London were known as 'penny universities' because a penny was the typical cost of a cup of coffee?
*that the tradition of tips was started in an English coffeehouse, and stands for To Insure Prompt Service?
*that during the siege of Vienna, a Viennese named Georg Franz Kolschitzky living in Turkey slipped through the Turkish lines to lead Polish forces into Vienna? For his service, he claimed 500 sacks of coffee the Turks left behind and opened the Blue Bottle, Vienna's first coffeehouse.
*the French were the first to filter coffee, and developed the cafe au lait as we know it? - Chris Kilham, Psyche Delicacies
*that until recently the Olympic Games Committee deemed caffeine consumed in coffee as a controlled substance, and athletes were only allowed to consume small amounts? - Sid Kirchheimer, WebMD Feature

"Give a frontiersman coffee and tobacco, and he will endure any privation, suffer any hardship, but let him be without these two necessaries of the woods, and he becomes irresolute and murmuring." U.S. Army Lt. William Whiting in 1849

"Coffee is real good when you drink it it gives you time to think. It's a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup. " Gertrude Stein
Coffee before Conciousness
Why do people worry more if you argue with your voices than if you just talk with them? What about if you lose those arguements?
Slowly going crazy at work... they found a way to make the voices work too.

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vampyrewolf
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Postby vampyrewolf » Thu May 04, 2006 10:47 pm

more enlightenment for the new crop
Coffee before Conciousness
Why do people worry more if you argue with your voices than if you just talk with them? What about if you lose those arguements?
Slowly going crazy at work... they found a way to make the voices work too.

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Outlaw
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Postby Outlaw » Sat May 06, 2006 10:07 pm

java wrote:Unkown author coffee quotes:
All the coffee in Columbia won't make me a morning person.

:p I HAVE TO use that one! :D

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bigcat
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Postby bigcat » Sun May 07, 2006 5:18 pm

James Bond Coffee--Black, Two Lumps(sugar), Not Shaken, But Stirred!! "007 License" Too Caffeinate or Be Caffeinated. -- BigCat

BigCat
"The Power that made the body, Heals the body."


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