A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named “Managerium.”
Managerium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Managerium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Managerium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Managerium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Managerium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some neutrons to become morons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Managerium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass.”
You will know it when you see it.
Chuck
There is no right way to do a wrong thing
OT - but too good not to pass on
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cmassicotte
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- Location: Buena Park, CA USA
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cmassicotte
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Dialex -- Glad you liked it. I just about died when I read it. <img src="spyder.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0><img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0><img src="spyder.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Of course you can share it. It doesn't "belong" to me, and heck, I would not have put it out here if I didn't think all my other <img src="spyder.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0> friends would enjoy it.
Chuck
There is no right way to do a wrong thing
Of course you can share it. It doesn't "belong" to me, and heck, I would not have put it out here if I didn't think all my other <img src="spyder.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0> friends would enjoy it.
Chuck
There is no right way to do a wrong thing
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java
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- Location: Rosamond - Tropical Paradise without the tropics.....(or the paradise)
Chuck,
LikeD it enough thought I'd return the favor:
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET for Woman
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer: Adam
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas.
Subject to: Seasonal fluctuations.
Physical Properties:
1) Surface usually covered with painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given special treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
5) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
Chemical Properties:
1) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
4) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
5) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
6) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.
Uses:
1) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
3) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
4) Can cool things down when it's too hot.
Tests:
1) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Caution :
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
2) Illegal to possess more than one.
Stay safe! Stay sharp! <img src="spyder.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Edited by - JAVA on 9/3/2002 9:34:48 PM
LikeD it enough thought I'd return the favor:
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET for Woman
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer: Adam
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas.
Subject to: Seasonal fluctuations.
Physical Properties:
1) Surface usually covered with painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given special treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
5) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
Chemical Properties:
1) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
4) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
5) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
6) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.
Uses:
1) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
3) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
4) Can cool things down when it's too hot.
Tests:
1) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Caution :
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
2) Illegal to possess more than one.
Stay safe! Stay sharp! <img src="spyder.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Edited by - JAVA on 9/3/2002 9:34:48 PM
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cmassicotte
- Member
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- Location: Buena Park, CA USA
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glasshartt
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- Location: El Paso, TX
Java,
That about hits it on the head. Shawn take note of the chemical properties section. <img src="tongue.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Linda
<img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O> Integrity is being good even if no-one else is watching <img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O>
That about hits it on the head. Shawn take note of the chemical properties section. <img src="tongue.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Linda
<img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O> Integrity is being good even if no-one else is watching <img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O>
Found this on an other forum.
Very OT but fun nonetheless.
True story btw
title: Leave it to the Marines - They handle the pressure.
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!!
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.
It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
Very OT but fun nonetheless.
True story btw
title: Leave it to the Marines - They handle the pressure.
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!!
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.
It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
ROFLOL...
Although very funny, I found this on Truth or Fiction...
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/npr-reinwald.htm
NPR Interview with "General Reinwald"-Fiction!
Summary of eRumor:
A first-hand account of hearing an interview on National Public Radio between a female host and U.S. Army General Reinwald. The General is describing a Boy Scout Troop he or the base is sponsoring, and mentions that, among other things, the boys will be learning how to shoot. The interviewer questions the gun instruction and whether the kids are being equipped to "...become violent killers." The general responds by saying, "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
The Truth:
This is fiction. No such interview ever took place, according to NPR. Additionally, there are other versions of the rumor that seem to have originated in Great Britain.
Edited by - spydieman on 9/4/2002 2:59:05 PM
Although very funny, I found this on Truth or Fiction...
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/npr-reinwald.htm
NPR Interview with "General Reinwald"-Fiction!
Summary of eRumor:
A first-hand account of hearing an interview on National Public Radio between a female host and U.S. Army General Reinwald. The General is describing a Boy Scout Troop he or the base is sponsoring, and mentions that, among other things, the boys will be learning how to shoot. The interviewer questions the gun instruction and whether the kids are being equipped to "...become violent killers." The general responds by saying, "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
The Truth:
This is fiction. No such interview ever took place, according to NPR. Additionally, there are other versions of the rumor that seem to have originated in Great Britain.
Edited by - spydieman on 9/4/2002 2:59:05 PM
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glasshartt
- Member
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- Location: El Paso, TX
<img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
<img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O> Integrity is being good even if no-one else is watching <img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O>
<img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O> Integrity is being good even if no-one else is watching <img src="http://www.spyderco.com/forum/spyder.gif" border=O>