A New One To Me

[Jimd]

Things have been lively lately "on the inside".

Quite a few inmates have been locked up into the RHU for coming up hot on urine tests, gang activity, and getting a little too boisterous. Literally dozens of them have been dragged away to The Hole (happily, about a dozen were from my cell block).

In other news, I learned of something that I'd never seen before in the prison. We have an SNU (Special Needs Unit) for inmates who are too insane to place into the Mental Health Unit (MHU).

One inmate in the SNU decided he just had to be with the inmate in his neighboring cell. So he assessed his situation, devised a plan, and executed said plan.

This involved prying his metal drain cover from his cell floor. He sharpened said drain cover on the concrete floor (concrete works wonderfully for sharpening metal). He used the cover to chip away at the hollywood block wall that separated the two cells, removed a block, and in a naked fashion, proceeded into the neighboring cell to "frolic" with the also naked inhabitant.

When he was finished, he went back to his cell and covered up the hole in the wall, which remained concealed for....well, for a while. Possible for about a week, although we're not sure on that.

He gets an "A" for Effort, an "A" for ingenuity, and an "A" for Creativity. I'm not certain how his form was, as I didn't see the dive through the "Tunnel Of Love", but given his ratings, I imagine his form was also an "A".

I've been working overtime lately, going in early, so I'm tired as ****. That place is off the friggin' hook!

[Monocrom]

Sounds like he decided on a goal, and then went about reaching that goal.

Hard work and determination will often get you what you want. If his goal was to make money, he'd be a huge success on Wall Street.

As far as Special Needs... Sounds like he got what he needed. :D

[The Mastiff]

These guys can be determined. Given enough time they can do amazing things.

During a new years riot one time inmates in one medium sized bay dorm tunneled through the wall into the next bay dorm just to torture and try to kill some white inmates. They were doing stuff like standing on top of the three high bunks, holding inmates by the ankle, and dropping them on their heads while betting on how high the unconcious ( or dead) inmates would bounce.

Stuff like that.

We never had an inmate officially die at our prison. Even ones shot off the fence. They would stuff the body in a car, drive it over to the unit with the inmate hospital where there were doctors assigned. There, they would be pronounced dead. No doctor at our unit = no death.

Public affairs would put out a generic death announcement about an inmate dying in the hospital, which would not get a second look by media or others who would have ran a story if they found out the truth behind the body.

Slick eh? Joe

[dialex]

Hi Jim, thanks for the story. And I was thinking Michael Scofield is spectacular...

[tonydahose]

lock somebody up for that long and they will figure out something to do with their time. :rolleyes:

[Jimd]

lock somebody up for that long and they will figure out something to do with their time. :rolleyes:

Or, in this case, someone to do.... :D

[tonydahose]

i could say a few things here but this is a family oriented site..lol

[Fred Sanford]

Jim,

That makes me laugh so hard. I can just see you standing there looking at the block wall thinking "Interesting...". LOL. :D

Dude the "Frolic" part was the best.

By the way, I need to call you.

[Brad S.]

I feel like you need a blog.

[Jimd]

Jim,

That makes me laugh so hard. I can just see you standing there looking at the block wall thinking "Interesting...". LOL. :D

Dude the "Frolic" part was the best.

By the way, I need to call you.

LOL, dude, it brings to mind one story from long ago. My good pal, Joe, who's a CO, caught to guys....ahem, frolocking...in their cell. You have to know Joe to truly appreciate this story, but I'll relate it anyhow.

Joe, who's a former Marine, observed the activity in the cell, and his eyes widened. He spread his feet, placed his hands upon his hips in true Drill Instructor fashion, and yelled, "YOU! You will dismount that man!"

I still smile as I recall that scene. I laughed til I had tears in my eyes. Joe has the ability to appear completely unfazed in wild situations. I have many stories about this fellow, but not all can be related here.

David, sure give me a call, brother! But don't sweat the fact that you haven't called; I've been busier than a three-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen lake lately. It's all good, brother!

[Jimd]

I feel like you need a blog.

How about a book?
It's in the works, my friend.

[Monocrom]

How about a book?
It's in the works, my friend.

+1 for the book.

I'd love to read the uncensored stories of a Correction Officer's experience.

[clovisc]

geez, man. you've got the best(/worst) stories out of anyone i've ever encountered. keep 'em coming!!!

[Jimd]

geez, man. you've got the best(/worst) stories out of anyone i've ever encountered. keep 'em coming!!!

Thank you...I think. :D

Here's one you may enjoy...

Back in the mid-'80's, several inmates go their hands on some firearms. Two Remington 870 12-guages and numerous handguns. They decided that they were going to check out of the prison before their stay was up.

They began scaling the wall (35-feet high) near one of our guard towers when the officer noticed that something wasn't right (namely, several guys with firearms coming up). He challenged them (at the time, we had Winchester Model 70 Pre-'64 bolt-action rifles in 7mm Mauser in the towers). The inmates replied by engaging said officer in a firefight while falling back to the prison's main kitchen area, where they took several hostages.

Thus ensued a five-day hostage siege that locked the rest of the prison down. Guards and State Police contained the inmates to the kitchen area. During this time, there were several firefights that broke out between inmates and law enforcement.

After five days, the safe release of the hostages was negotiated.

The shotguns were retrieved, but from what I understand, several of the handguns "disappeared" inside the prison, although the official word is that all weapons were recovered and the institution is completely safe to work in.

[Jimd]

Here's a story from yesteryear.....
A number of years ago, I was involved in quite a nasty brawl.
An inmate who'd just exited the prison's barbershop near my post took a swing at an officer right in the middle of our prisons main corridor (which is 1/4-mile long). The fight was on. I locked the door to D-Block so the inmates in there couldn't get out to join in the fight. I called in a "Signal 13" on my radio, which means "Officer Down, Needs Assistance", which set the whole institution on tilt.

The CO ducked the inmate's swing and came up underneath it, tackling the inmate, who was close to 300 pounds. He hit the inmate with a series of punches that really messed the dude up, drawing quite a bit of blood, which was flying everywhere.

While on his back, the inmate was hitting the CO, but it had little effect. By this time, he was trying to get to his feet and I was running full speed into the fray. I dove on the guy with a flying tackle just as the CO was delivering another punch. The punch glanced off the side of my head, accidentally hitting me and snapping my head around. I wound up with a spinal injury from that one, and the punch continued into the inmate's face, causing him to receive eight stitches (it was a **** of a punch!).

About 30 officers responded and the entire place was instantly locked as we tried to get inmates away from the scene. We got the guy up and pinned against the wall. I had the back of his head and was trying to push it through the plexi-glass display case on the wall as the blood flowed. They were trying to cuff the guy, but he continued to try to fight, even though there were a dozen or so of us on him. Strong fucker.

After they took him away, I was shaking the cobwebs from my head. I looked around at the scene. The corridor is about 20 feet wide. There was blood from one side all the way to the other. It dripped down the windows on the far side of the corridor, it was all over the floor, and it dripped down the wall where we'd pinned the guy. It looked like something from one of the Friday The 13th movies. The blood had splattered all over the place.

Then we went to the hospital. My back and neck were screwed up pretty well. There were other bumps, bruises, and blood exposure among other officers.

I hadn't even hobbled all the way into the doctor's office in the hospital when he said, "Okay, let's make sure we get you right back to work!" The fucker hadn't even examined me yet!! And that's just what they did; shipped me right back into the prison, and I could scarcely stand or walk because of the condition of my back and neck. I had to tough it out, since there is no such thing as "Light Duty", at least according to my employer.

To this day, my neck and back still pain me at times.

[The Mastiff]

We tried to avoid going to the hospital as the workmans comp people, that were supposed to pay for the visit would find an excuse not to. Even when they did, they would take so long doing so that it would be in collections and on our credit rating. That happened to me after my superior ordered me to go to the hospital to get something documented as charges were going to be filed against the inmate. If we tried to pay ourselves and get reimbursed by workmans comp that would insure you never saw your money back as it wasn't policy. Either way, we lost so we fixed ourselves.

The only time I ever really felt like I thought I should go was one time I got hit by lightning while on a guntower. It zorched me pretty good, even popping my eardrum. Even when I got stabbed in the hand I just dealt with it myself with stuff at the infirmary.

As far as getting injured by other officers, it happened. I got what amounted to a chop block to me knee by an officer coming in to help supposedly. It swelled up and I couldn't walk right for a week. No wonder my knees need surgery now eh? Joe

[dialex]

How about a book?
It's in the works, my friend.

I'll buy it! :D

[KSDbass]

I'll definitely buy it. I remember I sat down once and read all of your stories on the Badlands, I'm still amazed.

[Jimd]

Thanks, guys.

More insanity continues in the prison. Due to short-staffing, management has piled more work on our caseloads. In addition to teaching a couple groups daily, we now have to travel to the Restricted Housing Unit (RHU, or "Hole") to see inmates.

So I'll be wandering around death row again, tending to the inmates there.

In other news, today one of our insane inmates was being shipped to another prison via prison van. He kicked the windows out of the first two vans they placed him in for transport.

Remember the lunatic that broke a hole in his cell wall to get to his lover in the adjoining cell? Well, he was at it again. Broke holes in both walls of his new cell and managed to break out the back window, which is made of "shatterproof" Lexan. Basically, he totalled his new cell.

I'm now a union rep, so I'm working closely with our chief steward and business agent to try to have our workload reduced.

Additionally, we've been going in an hour early in the morning to work overtime. All this has left me pretty worn out.

Since we can retire at age 50, I now have 9 years, 364 days left to serve.

[Monocrom]

Remember the lunatic that broke a hole in his cell wall to get to his lover in the adjoining cell? Well, he was at it again. Broke holes in both walls of his new cell and managed to break out the back window, which is made of "shatterproof" Lexan. Basically, he totalled his new cell.

Shatterproof my @$$!

Clearly they didn't do any real tests on that Lexan.