A new adventure

[WOTANSON1]

Hey all,
As some of you might know, my wife Karen gave birth to our son August Bruno on May 24th. Her maternity leave is all but spent now and she returns to work July 18th. After extensive research on daycare and the possability of hiring a nanny we deceided to have me stay at home with Auggie for at least the next 3 years. Though I will miss somewhat my chosen vocation as a Licensed Veterinary Technician, the oportunity to raise my son was just too tempting to pass up, and I know we are VERY lucky that we can afford to do this. I was wondering if any of my fellow forumites have ever spent time as a full time Dad, and if there were any pitfalls I could avoid in advance, also any advice or wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks in advance, Rob

[UK KEN]

Good luck!

I have been doing this job for 7 1/2 years :D It started when my wife and I decided that it would be wonderful if one of us could be with our son James full time when he was born. I was working shifts at the time, which I was ready to give up in an instant. Without knocking my good woman, I was better equipped domestically particularly in the kitchen to look after the families needs :D

I had always wanted to spend as much time as possible with my children so the decision was taken that I would be the one who gave up work for four years. Following the birth of our second child Emily this "break was extended and is on-going for at least another year.

I will try to give you some advice but in honesty you will learn by your experiences and we all have different ways of dealing with our situations.

It is not surprising that sleep deprivation is used as a torture! You will be fully taking over the nighttime feeding/comforting. This in itself can take its toll. Take any opportunity you can to catch up on sleep!

When it comes to cooking try to complete the days food in a single session, or even prepare and freeze food for days in advance. This not only saves time but also cuts down on fuel bills.

In the early days I tried to join some Mums and tots groups but even in these "enlightened" days as a man I felt like an outsider.

Read as many books about the subject of raising a child as you like but (other than first aid and nutrition to an extent) your instincts will kick in and you will work out what is best for you own youngster. You will undoubtedly be confronted by conflicting advice from friends, relatives and even medical staff, my advice to you is simple.......make up your own mind, you know what is right for your child.

Occasionally I question the worth of what I am doing. The "hunter gatherer" in me was wondering what was going on. My wife soon brings me down to earth again by reminding me how much it would cost to employ someone to complete the work around the house that I do. Finding someone we could trust with the care of our children also comes into the equation. Therefore, overall I am happy doing what I consider a worthwhile job.

As you have said you are in a very fortunate position being able to stay at home with your youngster. Though at times it will seem hard, stick with it the rewards are incredible! I feel privileged to have been a direct influence in the development of my kids and not missed some of the more interesting moments of their development, unfortunately not many fathers have this opportunity.

One last thing, this may be a cliché, but........savour every moment......they do grow up very quickly!

Best wishes, Ken

[DAYWALKER]

[quote="UK KEN"]Good luck! ]

There you have it Wotanson1!!! You are very blessed indeed to be able to bring up your child. UK Ken is THE authority on this...give him a yell if any assistance is required :p as I am sure Yates, I mean, Ken has MUCH more advice to share

God bless :cool:

[Dr. Snubnose]

Congrats Wotanson1 and to your wife Karen on your new bundle of joy!...Doc :D

[psimonl]

There ya go. In not that many words, I think UK ken puts it right.

I would add one thing about sleep depravation: Got to sleep when the little one do. Don't take that time to "clean up the house" or any oher stupid tasks

And take lots of pictures, not just for you or your wife, but for when your kids will be older. There is an age where they get very interrested about where they come from... Well, just a thought...

And yes, even if you have doubts, in no way spending time with your children is a waste of time... You know what they say: The best toy for children is their own parents...

Simon

[gordonk]

This goes back a LONG way, but we did the same thing. When we had our first one, after looking at daycare costs, it turned out that it was almost cheaper to have my wife stay at home :eek: She stayed at home for 7 years - we have two "kids". Now I'm a Grandfather :D Nice thing about babysitting - I get to re-live my childhood :)

- gord

[Senate]

all I'm saying is good luck for breastfeeding WOTANSON! :D

[WOTANSON1]

Thanks to all for the advice!! Ken what you said about instinct is so true, every crackpot with a computer has written a book about child rearing and there is a whole lot of shite out there to get you confused, I have 7 years experience in Veterinary medicine, my gut instincts are good about health issues with him. The area I live in is very child orientated, but somehow with my inbred distrust of "joiners" and my Black Metal band t shirt collection, I have a funny feeling I might not get on well with the rest of the mums :D As you I am the cook in the family, way way before Auggie arrived, the one session cooking dailly and advanced cooking and freezing is a great idea. I will sleep whenever he does, no problem with that., My wife and I get a weekly email from a site in the UK that spells out for us some of the things we could expect development wise for that particular week, it's fun and doesn't try to sell us something, the advice is a take it- or leave it style which I like. Thanks again to all and Senate, good joke, that's something I'm NOT dying to try :D :D :D
Cheers to all,
Rob