The Perils of HIGH TECH Addiction

[benben]

As far as platforms like Facebook & Instagram, I could care less who “likes” me or anything I post, really I could care less. I do have a FB account and I check it every couple of days.

My Achilles heel is forums like this one here and Glocktalk, and two different softball forums I frequent (daughter plays college softball, I coach softball, and I’m a serious ball glove junkie), yeah forums are my favorite!

[soc_monki]

With all due respect to Soc Monki I have to disagree and assert that some of these social media sites are indeed a form of mind control. When you have people that go as far as to commit suicide and forsake all of their friends, family and life's obligations It goes beyond being a member of a club or the attributes of belonging to a club or being a lodge member. The allegiance to these social media sites truly do fall under the true definition of "brain washing" and/or "mind control". Just like the lady I mentioned in a earlier post who started crying because of what someone said about her on Facebook. It's astounding to see what people will do to comply and fit into the protocol of these social media sites. It's like they give their very soul to be a part of these social media sites.

It's truly like a cult following when people will forsake all their other obligations of life just to fit into these cliques of social media. If I'm wrong I would like to know why? Because I've seen these social media sites literally hijack people's lives. That same lady I mentioned earlier is literally spending 6 to 10 hours a day on Facebook and similar websites. I don't know what else you could call that other than a form of cult-like mind control. It's not a healthy interaction any way you look at it.

I respect your opinion. I believe, however, that it is not mind control. The case with your friend is simply the fact that many people (most people maybe?) have an overwhelming need to be accepted and praised, and can't take any form of criticism. Or maybe it's just good ole saying mean things behind someone's back. It happened before social media, it will continue to happen with social media. I just shrug it off because anyone who has something to say about me can say it to me, and whatever they say on some random site has no effect on me. Sticks and stones, etc. Some people just can't handle that, they have to have good things said about them constantly or they just break down (fragile personality?). I've known many people like this and I just tell them to ignore it, don't let what someone else says dominate their life. And some people just can't let it go. It's really just high school all over again. Some people can't grow out of that high school mentality.

As for the people who get addicted to social media...some people have very addictive personalities. You see it with drug users, people addicted to alcohol, etc. They will go to AA meetings or what have you, and they latch on to something else (often Religion), and they didn't cure their addiction. They just traded one addiction for another. That is not curing addiction, it's redirecting it. Same with social media. The impulse to get everyone to like you and elevate your ego, getting that dopamine rush when someone likes the post of what you had for breakfast...it's addiction, not mind control.

I too fell into wanting everyone on my friend's list to like my posts, or comment on something stupid I posted. It can happen. I got out of that though, realized how it was actually making me feel, and cut it out of my life. I don't like feeling that need, of wanting to check every few minutes if someone posted something or replied to one of my posts. It's pointless. I have much better ways to spend my time during the day, like playing with my son or spending quality time with my wife. Real life trumps all!

I think you hit the nail on the head.

It's more a personally thing, or how people have been raised etc.

People get offended by anything and everything these days.

You can't even disagree with people now or they get offended.

The everyone gets a trophy generation maybe has spilled out some...?

Yeah, that high school mentality, some never get out of it....

That herd mentality issue...

For some reason and I really don't know why people seem to believe that all of their options are equally important to everyone else's no matter the topic. The statement that everyone's opinions are equal comes to mind.

This is just simply not true, not in the real world anyway.

A simple example would be if you need your car fixed you don't call a plumber, you call an auto mechanic.

I have actually had to come out and actually tell people I really don't care what they think.....

If I want someone's opinion I will ask them for it, if not then I really don't want to hear it because I really don't care what they think.

Ahhh yes... The Participation Trophies. I was born in 1980, and when that started happening I knew it was wrong. You get the prizes when you do well and win. If you lose you have to learn from your mistakes and do better next time. Failure is the best teacher, and not everyone is special. I believe this has caused a lot of problems with current generations.

Teach children that they won't always succeed, but to take the lesson of failure and work on being better and work towards success. Nothing is handed to you, you have to work for it.

Maybe having older parents was a good thing for me. Maybe being an older parent is going to be good for my son. I don't know, I don't think anyone truly knows! You just have to find out what works and do your best.

[Ankerson]

With all due respect to Soc Monki I have to disagree and assert that some of these social media sites are indeed a form of mind control. When you have people that go as far as to commit suicide and forsake all of their friends, family and life's obligations It goes beyond being a member of a club or the attributes of belonging to a club or being a lodge member. The allegiance to these social media sites truly do fall under the true definition of "brain washing" and/or "mind control". Just like the lady I mentioned in a earlier post who started crying because of what someone said about her on Facebook. It's astounding to see what people will do to comply and fit into the protocol of these social media sites. It's like they give their very soul to be a part of these social media sites.

It's truly like a cult following when people will forsake all their other obligations of life just to fit into these cliques of social media. If I'm wrong I would like to know why? Because I've seen these social media sites literally hijack people's lives. That same lady I mentioned earlier is literally spending 6 to 10 hours a day on Facebook and similar websites. I don't know what else you could call that other than a form of cult-like mind control. It's not a healthy interaction any way you look at it.

I respect your opinion. I believe, however, that it is not mind control. The case with your friend is simply the fact that many people (most people maybe?) have an overwhelming need to be accepted and praised, and can't take any form of criticism. Or maybe it's just good ole saying mean things behind someone's back. It happened before social media, it will continue to happen with social media. I just shrug it off because anyone who has something to say about me can say it to me, and whatever they say on some random site has no effect on me. Sticks and stones, etc. Some people just can't handle that, they have to have good things said about them constantly or they just break down (fragile personality?). I've known many people like this and I just tell them to ignore it, don't let what someone else says dominate their life. And some people just can't let it go. It's really just high school all over again. Some people can't grow out of that high school mentality.

As for the people who get addicted to social media...some people have very addictive personalities. You see it with drug users, people addicted to alcohol, etc. They will go to AA meetings or what have you, and they latch on to something else (often Religion), and they didn't cure their addiction. They just traded one addiction for another. That is not curing addiction, it's redirecting it. Same with social media. The impulse to get everyone to like you and elevate your ego, getting that dopamine rush when someone likes the post of what you had for breakfast...it's addiction, not mind control.

I too fell into wanting everyone on my friend's list to like my posts, or comment on something stupid I posted. It can happen. I got out of that though, realized how it was actually making me feel, and cut it out of my life. I don't like feeling that need, of wanting to check every few minutes if someone posted something or replied to one of my posts. It's pointless. I have much better ways to spend my time during the day, like playing with my son or spending quality time with my wife. Real life trumps all!

I think you hit the nail on the head.

It's more a personally thing, or how people have been raised etc.

People get offended by anything and everything these days.

You can't even disagree with people now or they get offended.

The everyone gets a trophy generation maybe has spilled out some...?

Yeah, that high school mentality, some never get out of it....

That herd mentality issue...

For some reason and I really don't know why people seem to believe that all of their options are equally important to everyone else's no matter the topic. The statement that everyone's opinions are equal comes to mind.

This is just simply not true, not in the real world anyway.

A simple example would be if you need your car fixed you don't call a plumber, you call an auto mechanic.

I have actually had to come out and actually tell people I really don't care what they think.....

If I want someone's opinion I will ask them for it, if not then I really don't want to hear it because I really don't care what they think.

Ahhh yes... The Participation Trophies. I was born in 1980, and when that started happening I knew it was wrong. You get the prizes when you do well and win. If you lose you have to learn from your mistakes and do better next time. Failure is the best teacher, and not everyone is special. I believe this has caused a lot of problems with current generations.

Teach children that they won't always succeed, but to take the lesson of failure and work on being better and work towards success. Nothing is handed to you, you have to work for it.

Maybe having older parents was a good thing for me. Maybe being an older parent is going to be good for my son. I don't know, I don't think anyone truly knows! You just have to find out what works and do your best.

My AUNT was a Teacher (HS) for more than 30 years.

She was saying about the changes or what they are called has something to do with the following.

They can't have kids experiencing disappointment. :rolleyes:

I asked her why that was, she told me that she used to ask the same question when they brought it up.

Her point was that in the real world they will have to experience disappointments, life is full of those so they need to be prepared and the training needs to be there learning how to deal with it before they get out in the world.

My point is it doesn't matter how many times fail or lose, you live with it and keep trying harder and moving forward.

Not everyone can win nor do they get whatever they want out in the real world.

[soc_monki]

My AUNT was a Teacher (HS) for more than 30 years.

She was saying about the changes or what they are called has something to do with the following.

They can't have kids experiencing disappointment. :rolleyes:

I asked her why that was, she told me that she used to ask the same question when they brought it up.

Her point was that in the real world they will have to experience disappointments, life is full of those so they need to be prepared and the training needs to be there learning how to deal with it before they get out in the world.

My point is it doesn't matter how many times fail or lose, you live with it and keep trying harder and moving forward.

Not everyone can win nor do they get whatever they want out in the real world.

Time to make some changes and get back to disappointing people. That's the only way humans learn. If you can't deal with failure then too bad, figure out how to not fail. Ask questions, get advice, learn! No such thing as a stupid question.

Get those brain juices flowing. If you don't understand something then do some research and figure it out!

[James Y]

Unfortunately, it’s already too late for those people who grew up with the entitled, “win a trophy for showing up” philosophy. The parents and adults who instituted that have done irreparable harm to those kids (perhaps an entire generation) that they wanted to make feel better, and whose self-esteem they thought they were helping.

You do not learn from not making mistakes or avoiding the reality of failure. In my lifetime, I’ve learned as much from my mistakes as from my successes. Failures in life spur growth. Or they should. If someone is brought up with a pantywaist philosophy, then the smallest failures will break them. Standards are lowered across the board to accommodate their right to feel good about themselves. That negatively affects society as a whole.

I’m 57, which isn’t old at all. But I very clearly remember growing up in a time where kids weren’t coddled in the least. Nowadays, everyone is entitled. Watch any commercial or sitcom from the past 10 to 15 years or so, and the kids are always depicted as smarter than the adults (especially the dads), while the latter are depicted as clueless, bumbling idiots. This is more coddling. When I was a kid, my dad was blue collar, and I always respected and learned a lot in life from him. The way dads are depicted now, there’s nothing to learn from them but eye-rolling embarrassment, while the kids (even little ones) have to ‘show them the way’.

Jim

[soc_monki]

Unfortunately, it’s already too late for those people who grew up with the entitled, “win a trophy for showing up” philosophy. The parents and adults who instituted that have done irreparable harm to those kids (perhaps an entire generation) that they wanted to make feel better, and whose self-esteem they thought they were helping.

You do not learn from not making mistakes or avoiding the reality of failure. In my lifetime, I’ve learned as much from my mistakes as from my successes. Failures in life spur growth. Or they should. If someone is brought up with a pantywaist philosophy, then the smallest failures will break them. Standards are lowered across the board to accommodate their right to feel good about themselves. That negatively affects society as a whole.

I’m 57, which isn’t old at all. But I very clearly remember growing up in a time where kids weren’t coddled in the least. Nowadays, everyone is entitled. Watch any commercial or sitcom from the past 10 to 15 years or so, and the kids are always depicted as smarter than the adults (especially the dads), while the latter are depicted as clueless, bumbling idiots. This is more coddling. When I was a kid, my dad was blue collar, and I always respected and learned a lot in life from him. The way dads are depicted now, there’s nothing to learn from them but eye-rolling embarrassment, while the kids (even little ones) have to ‘show them the way’.

Jim

Well, I do have to say that my kid teaches me something new every day. Hopefully I am teaching him half of what he is teaching me! :D But I see what you're saying. I don't even watch TV so I don't see what some others do.

I will be teaching my son that you have to experience failure and disappointment, along with success. We'll see how it goes!

[James Y]

Unfortunately, it’s already too late for those people who grew up with the entitled, “win a trophy for showing up” philosophy. The parents and adults who instituted that have done irreparable harm to those kids (perhaps an entire generation) that they wanted to make feel better, and whose self-esteem they thought they were helping.

You do not learn from not making mistakes or avoiding the reality of failure. In my lifetime, I’ve learned as much from my mistakes as from my successes. Failures in life spur growth. Or they should. If someone is brought up with a pantywaist philosophy, then the smallest failures will break them. Standards are lowered across the board to accommodate their right to feel good about themselves. That negatively affects society as a whole.

I’m 57, which isn’t old at all. But I very clearly remember growing up in a time where kids weren’t coddled in the least. Nowadays, everyone is entitled. Watch any commercial or sitcom from the past 10 to 15 years or so, and the kids are always depicted as smarter than the adults (especially the dads), while the latter are depicted as clueless, bumbling idiots. This is more coddling. When I was a kid, my dad was blue collar, and I always respected and learned a lot in life from him. The way dads are depicted now, there’s nothing to learn from them but eye-rolling embarrassment, while the kids (even little ones) have to ‘show them the way’.

Jim

Well, I do have to say that my kid teaches me something new every day. Hopefully I am teaching him half of what he is teaching me! :D But I see what you're saying. I don't even watch TV so I don't see what some others do.

I will be teaching my son that you have to experience failure and disappointment, along with success. We'll see how it goes!

It is true that one can learn from kids, too. And I applaud you!

In many depictions in the media, it’s the little kids who have to teach the dads lessons about navigating life(!). At first glance, such depictions may seem lovable and harmless. But in truth, they are insidious. They imply and then reinforce the idea that you’re already smarter than your elders are in all aspects of life. Knowing more about tech devices because one is introduced to them as a toddler does not automatically make a person wiser and smarter than their elders. There is no substitute for real-world experiences, no matter how tech-savvy one might be.

Jim

[Ankerson]

Unfortunately, it’s already too late for those people who grew up with the entitled, “win a trophy for showing up” philosophy. The parents and adults who instituted that have done irreparable harm to those kids (perhaps an entire generation) that they wanted to make feel better, and whose self-esteem they thought they were helping.

You do not learn from not making mistakes or avoiding the reality of failure. In my lifetime, I’ve learned as much from my mistakes as from my successes. Failures in life spur growth. Or they should. If someone is brought up with a pantywaist philosophy, then the smallest failures will break them. Standards are lowered across the board to accommodate their right to feel good about themselves. That negatively affects society as a whole.

I’m 57, which isn’t old at all. But I very clearly remember growing up in a time where kids weren’t coddled in the least. Nowadays, everyone is entitled. Watch any commercial or sitcom from the past 10 to 15 years or so, and the kids are always depicted as smarter than the adults (especially the dads), while the latter are depicted as clueless, bumbling idiots. This is more coddling. When I was a kid, my dad was blue collar, and I always respected and learned a lot in life from him. The way dads are depicted now, there’s nothing to learn from them but eye-rolling embarrassment, while the kids (even little ones) have to ‘show them the way’.

Jim

Jim,

Yeah, I was too, I am 55 and wasn't coddled either.

I think it's funny how the young ones these days actually do think they are smarter than me. They believe because they grew up with smart phones etc that makes them automatically smarter.

When it comes to tech stuff, I am a tech junky, was in the computer field etc so this newer tech stuff is easier to me than when I was in it. And yeah, it really is..

At 55 or so I am supposed to be stupid about technology in their eyes... :rolleyes:

I am NOT and they can't seem to handle it that some of us actually are like me. (I get the OK boomer a lot)

I love it when some kiddo tries to tell me about it, I just look at them like go away... :rolleyes:

They make us look like we are idiots in the movies too, just like in the sitcoms and commercials. I noticed awhile back also like you.

[James Y]

Jim,

Unfortunately, I fall into the stereotype of being less tech-savvy. In fact, I know many people who are much older than me who are more tech-savvy than I am :). Not that I go around advertising it or anything. :D

There are some late teens/young adults I worked with who were tech-savvy but also respectful of elders and others, and even lamented the way so many today act entitled. I knew their parents, though, and knew they weren’t coddled in any way. Those young people give me hope.

The thing is, though, if I am motivated enough, I can always learn and make myself more tech-savvy. Once someone is a young adult, you cannot go back and teach them how to deal with failures, if they’ve always been coddled and sheltered from that. By that time, it’s too late for them to start learning lessons that should have been learned starting from around pre-school or kindergarten.

Jim

[Ankerson]

Jim,

Yeah, that's true, there is no way they can go back and learn what they should have learned back then. Their development was hindered at an early stage, it's hard to almost impossible to recover from that.

It does seem they are much more aggressive towards others that don't agree with them to the point they just outright attack.

Playing the victim is also part of it, I see that a lot too. When they are trolling and then called out they try and make themselves look like the victim.


Jim

[ChrisinHove]

Participation trophies, and avoiding disappointment at-all-costs, can’t be healthy, but I do think encouragement for kids to “get out there” is a good thing.

The instant rewards and easy gratification of social media and computer games (which are ultimately designed to let you win) aren’t a very useful life lesson.

As for victimhood - that’s always been call made by bullies to justify themselves, in every demographic and every part of society. Nothing new there, unfortunately.

[Ankerson]

Participation trophies, and avoiding disappointment at-all-costs, can’t be healthy, but I do think encouragement for kids to “get out there” is a good thing.

The instant rewards and easy gratification of social media and computer games (which are ultimately designed to let you win) aren’t a very useful life lesson.

As for victimhood - that’s always been call made by bullies to justify themselves, in every demographic and every part of society. Nothing new there, unfortunately.

The whole instant or easy gratification thing really isn't good, I agree.

It doesn't teach anyone anything really.

[benben]

Participation trophies, and avoiding disappointment at-all-costs, can’t be healthy, but I do think encouragement for kids to “get out there” is a good thing.

The instant rewards and easy gratification of social media and computer games (which are ultimately designed to let you win) aren’t a very useful life lesson.

As for victimhood - that’s always been call made by bullies to justify themselves, in every demographic and every part of society. Nothing new there, unfortunately.

The whole instant or easy gratification thing really isn't good, I agree.

It doesn't teach anyone anything really.

At the level of softball I coach and get to be around, EVERYTHING is earned!! Fastpitch is a hard game and ultimately sets the girls up for failure! I think this game, at this level, and the amount of work they have to put in to be where they are, it puts the girls on the right track for their future and teaches them all too well how to handle failure and pressure!

NO participation trophies in my world!

[cbrstar]

I call participation trophy's "Communism Trophy's" because that is what they are actually teaching the kids. It's the whole everyone contributes what they can and everyone shares the same reward. It's not about disappointing kids at all.

[JD Spydo]

Hey guys and gals I've got a really good one for you all to think about. This just happened last night. And the more I've been thinking about it I really believe that it correlates with what we've been talking about.

Last night I was at a friend's house and there was about a dozen of us there. One friend of mine had two daughters with him (both teenagers) and I was chatting with one of the daughters when my phone rang. I looked at the "caller I.D." and seen it was one of my neighbors and just elected to call him later when I got home. Well the oldest girl looked at me while my phone was ringing and she went almost ballistic because I wasn't answering it >> she said in a very disturbed voice>>> "Aren't You Going To Answer Your Phone!!!">> I immediately said to her that my phone did not dictate my way of life and that I would call this person back later.

The phone continued to ring and this girl really got extremely upset with me that I wasn't answering my phone :rolleyes: I told her again that my phone was not my slave master and that I would manage my phone calls as I seen fit to answer them. She got very upset and started reading me the riot act that I was being a really rude dude and that I was terribly in the wrong for not responding to that phone call. She was mad because I didn't let that phone rule me. I looked at her dad and he just shook his head in confusion :o . But you would think that I called this teenage girl a really horrible name the way she acted.

My point is this>> people are by and large ruled by these "HIGH TECH" electronic items. Yes it's getting bad IMO.

[Ankerson]

Hey guys and gals I've got a really good one for you all to think about. This just happened last night. And the more I've been thinking about it I really believe that it correlates with what we've been talking about.

Last night I was at a friend's house and there was about a dozen of us there. One friend of mine had two daughters with him (both teenagers) and I was chatting with one of the daughters when my phone rang. I looked at the "caller I.D." and seen it was one of my neighbors and just elected to call him later when I got home. Well the oldest girl looked at me while my phone was ringing and she went almost ballistic because I wasn't answering it >> she said in a very disturbed voice>>> "Aren't You Going To Answer Your Phone!!!">> I immediately said to her that my phone did not dictate my way of life and that I would call this person back later.

The phone continued to ring and this girl really got extremely upset with me that I wasn't answering my phone :rolleyes: I told her again that my phone was not my slave master and that I would manage my phone calls as I seen fit to answer them. She got very upset and started reading me the riot act that I was being a really rude dude and that I was terribly in the wrong for not responding to that phone call. She was mad because I didn't let that phone rule me. I looked at her dad and he just shook his head in confusion :o . But you would think that I called this teenage girl a really horrible name the way she acted.

My point is this>> people are by and large ruled by these "HIGH TECH" electronic items. Yes it's getting bad IMO.

That's not really that different than back in the 70's when people would run over top of you to get to the phone hanging on the wall to answer it.

And when people would stay on the phone most of the day talking, they even had long phone cords and shoulder cradles so they could walk around and yack all day long.... This was back in the 1970's..... Almost 50 years ago now....

That or look at you when you just let it ring. I would just tell them the answering machine will get it.

Not too much has changed there as far as phones ringing goes, voice calls.

[James Y]

Hey guys and gals I've got a really good one for you all to think about. This just happened last night. And the more I've been thinking about it I really believe that it correlates with what we've been talking about.

Last night I was at a friend's house and there was about a dozen of us there. One friend of mine had two daughters with him (both teenagers) and I was chatting with one of the daughters when my phone rang. I looked at the "caller I.D." and seen it was one of my neighbors and just elected to call him later when I got home. Well the oldest girl looked at me while my phone was ringing and she went almost ballistic because I wasn't answering it >> she said in a very disturbed voice>>> "Aren't You Going To Answer Your Phone!!!">> I immediately said to her that my phone did not dictate my way of life and that I would call this person back later.

The phone continued to ring and this girl really got extremely upset with me that I wasn't answering my phone :rolleyes: I told her again that my phone was not my slave master and that I would manage my phone calls as I seen fit to answer them. She got very upset and started reading me the riot act that I was being a really rude dude and that I was terribly in the wrong for not responding to that phone call. She was mad because I didn't let that phone rule me. I looked at her dad and he just shook his head in confusion :o . But you would think that I called this teenage girl a really horrible name the way she acted.

My point is this>> people are by and large ruled by these "HIGH TECH" electronic items. Yes it's getting bad IMO.

That's not really that different than back in the 70's when people would run over top of you to get to the phone hanging on the wall to answer it.

And when people would stay on the phone most of the day talking, they even had long phone cords and shoulder cradles so they could walk around and yack all day long.... This was back in the 1970's..... Almost 50 years ago now....

That or look at you when you just let it ring. I would just tell them the answering machine will get it.

Not too much has changed there as far as phones ringing goes, voice calls.

That reminds me of my older sister back in the ‘70s. My parents finally had to get her her own separate phone line in her room, because she got so many calls and talked so much.

Jim

[soc_monki]

Hey guys and gals I've got a really good one for you all to think about. This just happened last night. And the more I've been thinking about it I really believe that it correlates with what we've been talking about.

Last night I was at a friend's house and there was about a dozen of us there. One friend of mine had two daughters with him (both teenagers) and I was chatting with one of the daughters when my phone rang. I looked at the "caller I.D." and seen it was one of my neighbors and just elected to call him later when I got home. Well the oldest girl looked at me while my phone was ringing and she went almost ballistic because I wasn't answering it >> she said in a very disturbed voice>>> "Aren't You Going To Answer Your Phone!!!">> I immediately said to her that my phone did not dictate my way of life and that I would call this person back later.

The phone continued to ring and this girl really got extremely upset with me that I wasn't answering my phone :rolleyes: I told her again that my phone was not my slave master and that I would manage my phone calls as I seen fit to answer them. She got very upset and started reading me the riot act that I was being a really rude dude and that I was terribly in the wrong for not responding to that phone call. She was mad because I didn't let that phone rule me. I looked at her dad and he just shook his head in confusion :o . But you would think that I called this teenage girl a really horrible name the way she acted.

My point is this>> people are by and large ruled by these "HIGH TECH" electronic items. Yes it's getting bad IMO.

Actually, I feel that her upset is a failing on the parents and how she was raised. At least partly. The father could, at any time, lay down some rules, enforce them, and probably be called all manner of names by his daughter for doing so, but while she is under his roof it is his rules. Follow them, and privlidges will be restored. Don't and suffer more being revoked. Does she have a job? Does she pay her own bills? Does she buy her own things? If not, then she has very little say.

Maybe the wife is the problem, and if he tries to instate some policies and she shuts it down? Well, then there are other things to deal with and I won't comment on someone elses marriage. Me and my wife talk about how raising out son is going, what we will do in the future, etc etc. A united front, if you will. But it is well known that our son will not act in that way. We will make sure of that.

Maybe I shouldn't even have commented on how a father should raise his daughter, but whenever I see something like what you experienced, it just makes me think of how many parents just give their kids everything to keep them out of the picture so they don't really have to do any parenting. I've known a lot of people who have kids and they just basically leave them at the grandparents while they go out for the weekend partying. It's really sad, but that has got to mess the kids up.

I remember when I was younger my dad told me that when I had children my life was no longer my own. I took that to heart and decided I was not going to have kids. Never appealed to me. Then I got older and me and the wife decided to take a chance. Best thing I ever did! Love my kiddo and while we do have our struggles, the good times more than make up for it. Nothing like seeing that smiling face when I get home from work.

I guess the moral of the story is, BE INVOLVED IN YOUR KIDS LIVES! Don't just give them things to keep them out of the way. Get them outside, play with them, read with them, show them you care and want to have meaningful relationships. Otherwise, they'll find other ways to fill those holes (like technology and social media). Nurture your relationships as well. They may change over time (I know mine and my wife's relationship has changed significantly over our ~20 years together) but change isn't bad. It's necessary. People don't stay the same over 20 years, you have to evolve. Same difference with kids and our relationships to them. They change so rapidly (growing!) that we have to try and keep up with their light speed minds. Guess we just have to try and stay ahead of the curve...haha!

[JD Spydo]

Hey Soc Monki that is an interesting and thought provoking story you just shared with us. And there are some interesting aspects to it. And I'm not trying to be a jerk or a wise guy with my response at all>> but how does that relate with what I shared with you guys on my last post on this thread regarding my friend's daughter getting upset because I chose not to answer my phone at that time? Because if your phone was ringing and you were at my home or place of business and chose not to answer it I personally wouldn't care one way or the other.

It's like the point I was trying to make earlier>> I don't let my cell phone rule or dictate my life. If I see on the caller I.D. that it's someone I can call later and I'm assured that it's not urgent or important I would rather call later. Or if I feel that I'm not at a convenient place to receive the call I can't for the life of me understand why it would upset someone :confused:

If the coin was flipped to the other side and someone was trying to contact one of my friends and they chose not to answer the phone at that time I wouldn't be offended and I wouldn't think anything of it. My whole point about my previous post was that so many people are literally being completely ruled by their cell phones. I've got several other examples I could share along those lines as well. Oh I guess there might be a case to be made that a person could be considered somewhat rude for not answering>> but in many cases I think it would be more rude to be "bucket mouthing" on a cell phone when I'm having company with my friends. Frankly it annoys me if a person is at my home visiting me or if I'm at a restaurant eating dinner with them and all my friend would be doing is to be talking on a phone all that time>> I personally kind of find that annoying and disrespectful. I would rather error on the side of being respectful to my friends rather than to let that phone dictate the circumstances. That's the point I was trying to make.

[James Y]

This reminds me of one time years ago, when a then-friend of mine, with whom I was in the process of starting a martial arts association, and I were having a meeting in a restaurant. He had actually requested the meeting so we could discuss some important topics.

Not long after we sat down, his cell phone rings. He’s talking for maybe 10 minutes. Then, without disconnecting the call, he puts the phone on the table. He says it’s a girl in Virginia who attended one of his seminars here in CA. He says “she wants to listen in” on our conversation. I notice he’s changed his manner of speech, in such a way as to sound more important and impressive to her. That call wasn’t ended until almost before our meeting was ended. We never did get to discussing anything relevant to why we were there, as he was more intent on impressing her.

I was PO’d. After we left the restaurant and were standing outside, I told him not to waste my time with his BS; that if he wants to show off in front of his female admirers, he can do it on his own time. I told him that what we were supposed to be discussing was none of her business. And not to use me or my precious time as props for his booty calls. He was apologetic about it. Later, we did get an association started with several other instructors/groups that even received approval as a non-profit organization from then-governor Schwarzenegger’s office. But I ended up leaving it, and I ended my association with this guy, mainly due to character traits of his I realized during the process. That phone call/listen-in at the restaurant was only the first (and least) of the reasons. But it got the ball rolling in my mind about his character. So I suppose in a way, I’m glad it happened.

Not totally on-topic, but he couldn’t have done that without his cell phone. Come to think of it, I think he probably told her to call him at that time beforehand, timing it to impress me, too. Which it didn’t.

Jim