Funny Dog Stories

[Doc Dan]

Dogs are wondrous animals. They make true and faithful friends, but they are also extremely funny.
My grandmother had a mixed breed dog named Sandy. Sandy liked to chase buzzards, for some reason. The buzzards would soar high above the earth and Sandy would chase them down below, barking his head off, looking straight up into the air at them. One day, Sandy was running with all of his might, barking at some buzzards, ..... and ran into a huge oak tree chin first! He knocked himself out with all of us laughing so hard we could not run to his rescue. Hahaha! I shall never forget it.

Do any of you have any funny dog stories?

[SpyderEdgeForever]

Doc, I love dogs and cats, great family pets and friends.

This is kindof on the gross side but its not too obscene so I'll share it: We had this one dog named "Smoky" because of the color of his coat: It was a smoky gray/tan/brown color, and he was a very faithful and adorable little mutt. Since the area was quite rural with not a lot of cars and trucks around, we'd let him wander at times in the woods and he'd always come back home. He loved to chase after small varmints like moles and field mice, chipmunks and the like. Well....Smoky had a strange constitution because he would catch and EAT these animals sometimes and also bring the dead thing back and deposit it right on front of you, almost like some cats tend to do, and would sit there happily wagging his tail and waiting to be petted and rewarded. The vet said this was okay behavior and so we'd have to make sure he wouldn't bring the dead varmints into the house.

Another one: A friend had a dog, a Labrador, who had real character. One time we went out to a restaurant and before leaving made sure the dog had plenty of food, water, and a good dog bed to rest in. What my friend had forgotten was a plastic jar of Peanut Butter on the kitchen table top. When he returned some hours later...the dog was happily sitting there...the peanut butter jar LICKED CLEAN...somehow the dog had figured out how to knock that jar down and open it. It may have been somewhat loose, I don't know, but man, that was one smart dog!

[Evil D]

Not so much funny but I've got some "tall tales" you might not believe. When I was a kid we had a German Shepherd/wolf mix named Bear (at least he was supposed to be a wolf mix, we believe he was likely Shepard/chow). He was raised to be aggressive and protective, since we lived way out on the boonies in KY on farm land back then where your closest neighbor is a mile away and the police are 30+ mins away and don't patrol your area, so we needed a good watch dog for protection.

Anyway this dog did a few amazing things over the years. We got a phone call once from a local farmer complaining that he was taunting his cattle in a field and had corralled them up in one corner of a pasture. He wasn't attacking them, just amusing himself I guess.

One time he dragged a whole deer into our yard. The deer didn't have any signs of being shot so we assumed he actually ran it down and killed it.

One summer he came walking through the yard with a trail of blood behind him. Turned out he was shot twice by someone, likely a hunter because he was huge and solid black and looked very much like a black bear. We took him to the vet and they just sewed up the holes and he lived the rest of his life with 2 slugs in him.

I once watched him get into a fight with a big Blue Tick hound. If we hadn't found them fighting he'd have killed that hound.

I watched him catch a ground hog once. If you've ever seen a dog hunch down on something with their mouth..he did that and squeezed and you could hear the bones breaking.

My family used to breed German Shepherds and my cousin did police dog training. I've done the dummy training with those dogs and it's terrifying. If K-9 is ever called on you, you are so screwed. There isn't much that a well trained Shepherd can't do, he will catch you and make you wish the cop had just shot you. My cousin had a male named Adolf (what a name for a German Shepherd) that had to have a chain link roof made for his kennel because he figured out how to climb the fence. He could jump most of the way up the fence and then scurry his way up the rest with momentum.

[Doc Dan]

I had a best friend named Beau. He was half German Shepherd and half Doberman Pincer. That dog was a real character. He always wanted to share with me whatever his "prize" was at the time (dead bird, old shoe, etc.). I would take his "gift" and make a fuss over it and he would go off very happy. One night I got home from work at 3am and let him out to do his business. at 4am he came home with a steak hot off the grill that was large enough to nearly cover a round grill top! How he got that and did not get burned, and then got away with someone's dinner/breakfast, I'll never know. That crazy dog actually expected me to help him eat it.Ha!

[holeshot]

Years ago I had a buddy who worked for Union Pacific in rural Nebrasksa. His job was to check tracks. He drove a Chevy pickup truck with Moon hubcaps. At one of his stops this farm dog would always pee on his caps when he parked and walked away. My friend decided to put four car batteries in the bed of the truck and wire them up to the hubcaps. Next time he was out at that farm, sure enough that dog came over to pee on those caps. My friend said it was like a bolt of lightning coming off that cap! Every time after, that dog would take off running when he saw that truck. :D

[Doc Dan]

HaHaHa! that's a good one.

[bearfacedkiller]

I have many stories. :)

My avatar and username come from a Rott/pit mix named Rita. One time while camping in Myrtle beach she decided to spend most of one day eating some tall grass. The next day she was having some difficulty with a bowel movement and upon investigating I saw some grass coming out of her back side. After enough struggling on her part I decided I had to step in and help. With a glove on one hand and a plastic grocery bag in the other I began to pull out what appeared to be about eight feet of "rope". I have no idea how her insides managed to weave that grass into a fairly long and consistent piece of "rope" but they did. We both had they same look on our faces during this uncomfortable experience and I am not sure for whom it was more traumatic. :eek:

[The Mastiff]

I have a lot of experiences that seemed funny at the time but a lot of that was because of the dogs personality or habits and that doesn't translate well. I had a very sneaky doberman back in the 70's and early 80's. He ate my whole wedding cake from the kitchen counter when nobody was looking. It was a large cake too. Not a drop of frosting left uneaten. Boy did he get sick! He was the one that herded guests children around the yard and he would occasionally pee on them for some reason. He got to stay in the garage for future events.

Joe

[Bloke]

I have many stories. :)

My avatar and username come from a Rott/pit mix named Rita. One time while camping in Myrtle beach she decided to spend most of one day eating some tall grass. The next day she was having some difficulty with a bowel movement and upon investigating I saw some grass coming out of her back side. After enough struggling on her part I decided I had to step in and help. With a glove on one hand and a plastic grocery bag in the other I began to pull out what appeared to be about eight feet of "rope". I have no idea how her insides managed to weave that grass into a fairly long and consistent piece of "rope" but they did. We both had they same look on our faces during this uncomfortable experience and I am not sure for whom it was more traumatic. :eek:

Ah, hahaha! :)

Darby ole mate I'm traumatised just reading about it! :p

[bh49]

My experience with dogs is only starting. We adopted puppy in December of 2016. Beagle/Jack Russel mix. Small dog. At least this is what we were told He still very young and love to play with all of us. One of the games is when he is running away and we need to chase him. Recently he found new favorite spot in my bedroom. He is getting under bed and watching what we going to do.

IMG_1759 by bh49, on Flickr

Sometimes he is hiding there after causing trouble and feels guilty.

[ChrisinHove]

I grew up with a Jack Russell Terrier with an attitude problem. He particularly hated cars, wouldn't bother chasing them (although would chase hot air balloons for miles - I never said he was bright) but would attack their exhaust tail pipes at every opportunity until we could pull him away.

This inevitably resulted in him gassing himself - and the sight of my ol' man lying on the roadway giving a small dog (with very questionable hygiene habits) mouth to mouth resuscitation! As spectators, we enjoyed it much more than either of them ...

He lived until he was 17, though, even after that and getting kicked senseless once preventing burglars from getting into the family home.

[Doc Dan]

I've gotten some good laughs so far. Keep them coming.

[mb1]

Great stories. :D

We had a black lab when we lived in this place on a couple acres. We kept her outside. Sweet dog, but she was protective too. Occasionally we'd find a door hanger, unsolicited advertising for yard service or whatever left on our door knob. This annoyed me.

One day, here comes a little pickup pulling up. Annoyed, I look to see who it is. The guy starts bee bopping towards the front door to leave me some trash when he hears the bark. There was a race between Joe Schmoe and Bailey for the truck. He jumped straight in the bed, and ended up lowering himself into the cab without ever touching the ground, if you can picture that. It was amusing.

Rocky, the neighbor dog, would come over and get in my wife's flower beds. She would pop him with a low powered air pistol to discourage this. It didn't take long to get him to run when she made a "gun" with her hand and faked it at him.

[Doc Dan]

We had a little Chihuahua when I was growing up. It was not one of those apple headed dogs, but the one that looks like a miniature Great Dane. That little dog was extremely smart and had great problem solving skills. He knew he was not allowed to bring his bones into the house. One day, we heard his knock on the door, wanting us to let him in. There he was, with a pork bone in his mouth. We told him that he knew he was not allowed to bring bones in the house, so with a sour look on his face, he turned around. A short time later we heard his knock, again. That little dog had chewed the bone into small pieces and was trying to smuggle them into the house in his mouth! His little cheeks were poking out from the bones hidden in his mouth. We all laughed until tears were running down our faces!

[bh49]

Smart dog.

[alexthegreat]

We've got 3 dogs (Maltese, German Shepherd, and Husky), so there's no shortage of stories. One of the best is with our shepherd Sasha, who was a rescue and is a very smart pup. A few years ago my dad, little brother, and I were at the local dog park throwing a frisbee to Sasha. My dad threw it to me just to get her to run at me, since once the frisbee starts flying she will go through a brick wall to get it, so naturally I had to throw it back at him since I was left unscathed (I hope y'all can see where this is going). She started tearing after the flying disk, which was aligned up perfectly with my dad. The heights of both creatures was such that her head (of mostly bone) was at the same height as my dad's crotchal area. He wasn't able to move out of the way fast enough and she plowed right into him, going headfirst into said crotchal area. He went down instantly and just sat there making noises for about 5 to 10 minutes while Sasha triumphantly paraded with her frisbee. My dad decided to call it a day so we headed home in a pretty quiet car ride except for the occasional moans of pain from my dad. When we got home my brother and I took Sasha back inside and my dad just headed to his room with an icepack. My mom wanted to know what happened so we gave her a rundown on what happened to which she replied, "Just don't tell me to kiss it."

[Doc Dan]

HaHa!

[Bestiz]

Awsemo story.Im really enjoy it.Thanks.
Have 2 dogs :)

[Bloke]

We used to have a Bull Terrier named Ebony many years ago when we lived in Western Australia. She was a lovely dog but not overly bright and I used to take her pig hunting sometimes but she was more of a hinderance than anything else.

We used to shoot the boars and sows and run down piglets and if you had a smart dog they'd catch them too and bring them back alive. Eb never once bought one back alive. Anyhow, we used to pen them up at a mate's property up the road where I had a horse and we used to feed them up, worm them etc. and when they were maybe 70-80lb odd I s'pose, an old local Italian bloke would take them away and make the best sausages and salami out of them.

The pen we kept them in was nothing flash and basically consisted of 4" square mesh used for concrete reinforcement tied to star pickets. I didn't like taking silly Eb with me to feed them or when I went riding because she'd harass them trying to attack them and generally she was just a nuisance.

This particular day I took her along (I can't remember why) to feed these pigs that were nearly big enough to butcher and to ride Bumper my horse. She carried on as per normal harassing them, barking and running around the pen trying to eat them while I tossed them a feed and I left her to it while I saddled Bumper.

I can't remember how far I got but all of a sudden the normal barking turned to growling, a pig squealing and all sorts of ruckus. I figured she'd jumped in the pen and I remember being annoyed and concerned.

I looked over and saw her outside the pen and yelled for her to get away as if she'd listen and went back to saddling Bumper and ignored the din. When I rode over a couple of minutes later I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. God knows how she did it but the silly dog had a pig by the ear but the pig was heavier than her and pulled her muzzle through the mesh so she couldn't open her mouth to let go or shake her head and tear through it's ear.

I hopped off Bumper, grabbed her round the chest and managed to disengage the two. She had plenty of bark off her muzzle but she had a head like a rock and overall there was no harm done. :rolleyes:

[redhawk44357]

Had to jump on this. The dog I had as a teen was a heinz 57 and had the run of the yard. One day I saw her lying down next to our roof drain pipe . This part was lying flat on the grass to divert water to the dirt. First thing I noticed was the pipe was now in the backyard instead of the front. As I came closer I saw both ends of the pipe were chewed shut. When I picked it up I felt something slide inside. I then pryed one end open and looked in. There was a chipmunk in the pipe!! Tapping the pipe on one end didn't move the critter so I grabbed the pipe baseball style and swung for the bleachers. All this time Princess was watching the show. The chipmunk came out like a furry Frisbee sailing across the yard. Princess just watching. When the Munk landed it didn't move for several minutes. Princess still watching. I held on to her till the Munk decided to leave, with my dog in hot persuit dragging me also across the yard. Thankfully the chipMunk got away and me no worse for wear.