Okay, I live in a quiet neighbourhood that is constantly being hounded by door-to-door salesmen, solicitors and other agents. I used to be nice, listen, even take reading materials and all, I am not an unfriendly person, but lately they've been knocking on my door 3-5 dimes per day on the weekends, and I just want some peace and quiet because after working 8am-5:30pm on the new job, and spending 2hrs in traffic each day, I just need a lie down in peace and quiet on Sunday. So, I got a sign on my door, the one from CanadianTire that reads "No Agents, Peddlers or Solicitors". Doesn't work. People keep on knocking, I keep on running to the door, and now I am just getting a sore throat (it's -8C outside) telling them to go away all day long.
So, any suggestions?
I've been thinking of replacing that ambiguous sign with one saying "Deliveries Only!", nobody could misunderstand that one, unless they are delivering a package, right? Or will they think that delivering a speech meets the requirements? I need some help here. What would/did you do to make them bypass your door, short of barbed wire? (which is illegal to install here anyways)
Very OT - Solicitors, Salesmen, Agents
-
vampyrewolf
- Member
- Posts: 7486
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
- Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
"This property protected by Crazy Mo-Fo with a dog"
or my classic to get rid of them, I have a sharpening stone up by the door. If it's someone I don't want to talk to(or listen to, like JWs) I start to sharpen right after opening the door. JWs only needed the hint 5x before they quit showing up. Something about a crazy guy sharpening a 4" fixed in front of you, smiling.
<img src="http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett/sp ... pyder5.gif">
Mei Fides, Mei Victus
Coffee Before Conciousness
<a href=http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett>My Homepage </a>
or my classic to get rid of them, I have a sharpening stone up by the door. If it's someone I don't want to talk to(or listen to, like JWs) I start to sharpen right after opening the door. JWs only needed the hint 5x before they quit showing up. Something about a crazy guy sharpening a 4" fixed in front of you, smiling.
<img src="http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett/sp ... pyder5.gif">
Mei Fides, Mei Victus
Coffee Before Conciousness
<a href=http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett>My Homepage </a>
I don't now if it is their belief everywhere or not but here if you put a flag of any kind on your front door JWs will not knock.
For others try going to the door buck nakid.
Or a VW said going to the door while sharpening a knife would work.
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
For others try going to the door buck nakid.
Or a VW said going to the door while sharpening a knife would work.
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
With the advent of the "do not call" list, telemarketers are having to find other methods of selling their wares. Solicitation is frowned upon in public places such as stores and parking lots, so naturally that leaves door-to-door.
If a person has the ability to sell stuff, they're gonna sell stuff. An auto mechanic is going to turn wrenches. A farmer is going to work cattle. A doctor is gonna treat patients. It is just that simple.
Look for the door-to-door thing to get worse, not better.
By the way, my 100th post! <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
If a person has the ability to sell stuff, they're gonna sell stuff. An auto mechanic is going to turn wrenches. A farmer is going to work cattle. A doctor is gonna treat patients. It is just that simple.
Look for the door-to-door thing to get worse, not better.
By the way, my 100th post! <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Oh another thing would be to make a sign that says-If you are selling or converting I am not interested,after you knock please read this again.
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
Jaxon,I have seen those signs on doors.
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
-
AllenETreat
- Member
- Posts: 3156
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
- Location: The Constitution State USA
Vess :
Here's a few :
*Walk to your front door cleaning a rifle -or- shotgun ( works almost all the time <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
*If ya' got time on your hands ( like I do <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>) hold the SOB up for 2-3hrs.<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
( let's SEE if he EVER comes back! )
*Get some CD club subscription cards, magazine subscription cards, book club subscription cards, etc. and ask the nice solicitor if he'd like to join ya' in a criminal enterprise. Tell'em ya' need the
postage and/or membership fees.
("But I guarantee ya'! You'll make a killin'!"<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
*If he's/she's un-relenting, get their e-mail address & spam them to death!
*Go to your front door intoxicated ( just
SEE how long the solicitor stays to make a sale!<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
*Junk mail : Ya' wanna get these a-holes off
your back? They send those "return postage
guaranteed" envelopes to ya' with offers of
subscriptions or some other such non-sense,
ya' attach'em to a box of bricks! ( they get
stuck with the postage! NO, your gov't hates
solicitors as much as you do! )
*SPAM : "Reply" their e-mail(s) back to'em,
then block'em out ( SpamGuard, etc.)
Some others I heard of :
Tell the salesman you're a homo.
Tell the salesman you just got outta prison
for murder ( and you wanna go back!)
-Or-
Make the saleman un-comfortable ; use profanity, fart & do other nasty things that'll make his/her stay un-pleasant.
AET <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
"All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke ( 1729-1797 )
Here's a few :
*Walk to your front door cleaning a rifle -or- shotgun ( works almost all the time <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
*If ya' got time on your hands ( like I do <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>) hold the SOB up for 2-3hrs.<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
( let's SEE if he EVER comes back! )
*Get some CD club subscription cards, magazine subscription cards, book club subscription cards, etc. and ask the nice solicitor if he'd like to join ya' in a criminal enterprise. Tell'em ya' need the
postage and/or membership fees.
("But I guarantee ya'! You'll make a killin'!"<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
*If he's/she's un-relenting, get their e-mail address & spam them to death!
*Go to your front door intoxicated ( just
SEE how long the solicitor stays to make a sale!<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
*Junk mail : Ya' wanna get these a-holes off
your back? They send those "return postage
guaranteed" envelopes to ya' with offers of
subscriptions or some other such non-sense,
ya' attach'em to a box of bricks! ( they get
stuck with the postage! NO, your gov't hates
solicitors as much as you do! )
*SPAM : "Reply" their e-mail(s) back to'em,
then block'em out ( SpamGuard, etc.)
Some others I heard of :
Tell the salesman you're a homo.
Tell the salesman you just got outta prison
for murder ( and you wanna go back!)
-Or-
Make the saleman un-comfortable ; use profanity, fart & do other nasty things that'll make his/her stay un-pleasant.
AET <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
"All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke ( 1729-1797 )
-
Sword and Shield
- Member
- Posts: 2050
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
- Location: USA
Stuff I've seen used on college campuses, successfully (never used these myself):
Answer door naked.
Answer door naked, with member of opposite sex moaning in background. (Gee, I'm a little busy...<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
Answer door naked, with member of same sex moaning in the background. (Works for JWs.)
Answer door holding butcher knife and smiling.
Answer door with "redrum" written on forehead.
Answer door with 666 written on forehead.
Stuff I've tried:
Answer door, ask person for money. There's a Bible verse saying that you must give your money when asked. <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Answer door holding firearm- larger the better. (Hey, I live at home.)
Answer door speaking only in Elvish/Klingon. (Narsil essenya, macil meletya. Telchor Nogrod navrotesse...)
Answer door speaking like Smeagol from LOTR. (preciousss....)
Answer door acting like a retarded 4-year-old.
Answer door like a recording slowing down and speeding up.
That last one's my favorite- "Geeguyscomeonin,gladto h e a r f r o m y o uuuu. I'vealwayswantedto m e e t a r e a l Jehovah'switness. Repeat. Works great for telemarketers, too! <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
The Man's Prayer- I am a man. But I can change. If I have to. I guess...
Edited by - Sword and Shield on 12/7/2003 4:26:33 PM
Answer door naked.
Answer door naked, with member of opposite sex moaning in background. (Gee, I'm a little busy...<img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
Answer door naked, with member of same sex moaning in the background. (Works for JWs.)
Answer door holding butcher knife and smiling.
Answer door with "redrum" written on forehead.
Answer door with 666 written on forehead.
Stuff I've tried:
Answer door, ask person for money. There's a Bible verse saying that you must give your money when asked. <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
Answer door holding firearm- larger the better. (Hey, I live at home.)
Answer door speaking only in Elvish/Klingon. (Narsil essenya, macil meletya. Telchor Nogrod navrotesse...)
Answer door speaking like Smeagol from LOTR. (preciousss....)
Answer door acting like a retarded 4-year-old.
Answer door like a recording slowing down and speeding up.
That last one's my favorite- "Geeguyscomeonin,gladto h e a r f r o m y o uuuu. I'vealwayswantedto m e e t a r e a l Jehovah'switness. Repeat. Works great for telemarketers, too! <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
The Man's Prayer- I am a man. But I can change. If I have to. I guess...
Edited by - Sword and Shield on 12/7/2003 4:26:33 PM
Heres another good one.Get you a Danger bio-Hazzard do nor enter sign and a surgical mask.Hang the sign on your door.If they have the balls to knock put on the mask and open the door coughing hacking and holing your belly.Look at them and say "OH MY GOD,I THOUGHT YOU WERE FROM THE HOSPITAL" then slam the door.
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
lol <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0> Glad to see I'm not the only one. Yes, those suggestions are great guys! <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0> I have honestly tried to be civil, but I guess that glorious time is at an end...
I thought about opening a door gently polishing a Zatpichi sword or a biggest khukri knife I have, but sometimes the neighbours are out on their front yard or porch, and they're very nice and have small kids, so I don't want them to worry about a strange young man that always seems to be sharpening a knife that lives next-door. Opening the door naked? Good one, unless it's a little kid selling chocolates type of a visit, and not at -8C, I won't scare anyone like that. But I might have to try that too if I get some repeat customers.
So far I don't think I've seen a single one come back for a repeat visit, but the new ones keep on coming in such great numbers that it makes no difference. And it's not like we in Canada have a no-call list, I get just as many sales phonecalls, but I usually screen the calls anyways, so those bother me a lot less.
Ah, well. It really is too bad. I guess I'll try the "Deliveries Only!" sign next, then move on to "Salespersons will be Shot and Eaten!", and then if they persist write "$#^% OFF!" in big letters on my door, spelled like that for the grownups so the kids won't be offended... <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0> But I do have a sinking feeling that opening the door naked, brandishing a huge knife and tossing a pile of junk mail at the salesperson won't be enough to dissuade them very very soon... <img src="sad.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
I thought about opening a door gently polishing a Zatpichi sword or a biggest khukri knife I have, but sometimes the neighbours are out on their front yard or porch, and they're very nice and have small kids, so I don't want them to worry about a strange young man that always seems to be sharpening a knife that lives next-door. Opening the door naked? Good one, unless it's a little kid selling chocolates type of a visit, and not at -8C, I won't scare anyone like that. But I might have to try that too if I get some repeat customers.
So far I don't think I've seen a single one come back for a repeat visit, but the new ones keep on coming in such great numbers that it makes no difference. And it's not like we in Canada have a no-call list, I get just as many sales phonecalls, but I usually screen the calls anyways, so those bother me a lot less.
Ah, well. It really is too bad. I guess I'll try the "Deliveries Only!" sign next, then move on to "Salespersons will be Shot and Eaten!", and then if they persist write "$#^% OFF!" in big letters on my door, spelled like that for the grownups so the kids won't be offended... <img src="smile.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0> But I do have a sinking feeling that opening the door naked, brandishing a huge knife and tossing a pile of junk mail at the salesperson won't be enough to dissuade them very very soon... <img src="sad.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
-
vampyrewolf
- Member
- Posts: 7486
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
- Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Vess: I haven't seen JWs, insurance or coupon salesmen in about 3-4yrs... red cross and cancer society keep coming though. arthritis society hasn't come in 2yrs.
<img src="http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett/sp ... pyder5.gif">
Mei Fides, Mei Victus
Coffee Before Conciousness
<a href=http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett>My Homepage </a>
<img src="http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett/sp ... pyder5.gif">
Mei Fides, Mei Victus
Coffee Before Conciousness
<a href=http://www.members.shaw.ca/pjharyett>My Homepage </a>
one of my favorites is to start to take off clothing while we are talking. They usually leave fairly soon. For telemarketers, just keep answering 7. it really throws them off. put qtips in your ears before you answer the door. have your hand down your pants and have a bottle of super glue laying around for all to see. Ask nervously if they have any fillings, and then give them a foil hat to wear, because "they're watching" for a telemarketer, say "ummmm, uhhh uhhh, im so stupid," and slam a book against the table repeatatively and hang up. take off your shoes and put them on your hands. tell them too put two fingers between the door hinge, then put an egg between their fingers, but their literature below the egg and walk away, come back every so often to see how theyre doing, theres no way to not break the egg if they let go, my record is a salesperson who held on for 23 minutes. look at your thumbs and say "theyre getting bigger" comment on how much your toenails are growing each night. do the funky chicken, invite them to join it. contort your face, and then ask if theyve ever crapped a softball before. chase them with a hand full of pork fat. keep dirt by the door, and then pretend to pull it out of your pants and fling it at them. have a shovel, a black 44 gallon trashbag, and a fake passport in your hand. tell them your wearing new socks. tell them that the **** statue people keep moving. hint that THEY are coming, dont specify who they are.
Ive used all of these, they tend to work, especially if you link them together
Ive used all of these, they tend to work, especially if you link them together
Lol! Absolutely hilarious!
Here's a true one:
I have a friend from back in my undergrad days. 6ft 8in, 280 lbs, ex-marine, Dolph-Lundgren look alike (sort of). Was walking across campus with him, and he was wearing combat boots, camo pants, a Metallica T-shirt and a black trenchcoat. One of the local preacher-types was harassing all of the college student "sinnners" in front of one of the lecture halls. The preacher asked my friend, as we strolled past, if he had taken Jesus into his heart. My friend looked at him earnestly, thought for a moment, and replied: "Why, yes. I heard from him just this morning...He told me where to hide the bodies."
I don't think we saw that particular evangelist on campus for the rest of the year!
Peace!
Mike
"'Good!' said Legolas. 'But my count is now two dozen. It has been knife-work up here.'" -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers
Here's a true one:
I have a friend from back in my undergrad days. 6ft 8in, 280 lbs, ex-marine, Dolph-Lundgren look alike (sort of). Was walking across campus with him, and he was wearing combat boots, camo pants, a Metallica T-shirt and a black trenchcoat. One of the local preacher-types was harassing all of the college student "sinnners" in front of one of the lecture halls. The preacher asked my friend, as we strolled past, if he had taken Jesus into his heart. My friend looked at him earnestly, thought for a moment, and replied: "Why, yes. I heard from him just this morning...He told me where to hide the bodies."
I don't think we saw that particular evangelist on campus for the rest of the year!
Peace!
Mike
"'Good!' said Legolas. 'But my count is now two dozen. It has been knife-work up here.'" -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers
-
AllenETreat
- Member
- Posts: 3156
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
- Location: The Constitution State USA
That jarhead friend is a man after me own heart!!!!
Thing is, I would've asked the man with the turned around collar if he wanted to see them ( and me SpyderHawk! <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
AET <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
"All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke ( 1729-1797 )
Thing is, I would've asked the man with the turned around collar if he wanted to see them ( and me SpyderHawk! <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
AET <img src="wink.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>
"All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke ( 1729-1797 )
-
AllenETreat
- Member
- Posts: 3156
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
- Location: The Constitution State USA
And another thing!
Jehovah's witnesses can be put down with a good knowledge of the Gospel ( the words of Christ send most "christians" packin'!<img src="tongue.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
"I come not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentence.."
Jesus in the Gospel according to Matthew
"All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke ( 1729-1797 )
Jehovah's witnesses can be put down with a good knowledge of the Gospel ( the words of Christ send most "christians" packin'!<img src="tongue.gif" width=15 height=15 align=middle border=0>)
"I come not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentence.."
Jesus in the Gospel according to Matthew
"All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke ( 1729-1797 )
Your right Allen.You should see them run toward the street when my wife goes to the door with a bible.
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif
<img src=http://www.bladeforums.com/forums/image ... rforum.gif