Favorite chuck Norris joke

[TheRaven]

Chuck Norris is so strong, when he does a push-up, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

[The Meat man]

:D

Bigfoot claims he saw Chuck Norris.

One time, a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris can make a fire by rubbing two ice cubes.

Man: "How many push-ups can you do?"
Chuck Norris: "All of them."

[The Meat man]

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his room. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

[MacLaren]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. :D

[MacLaren]

Chuck counted to Infinity- 3 times!

[The Meat man]

Ha ha! :D

[TkoK83Spy]

Hhahaha, good stuff fella's!

[James Y]

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris never cries.

Jim

[VooDooChild]

There used to be a website with all these jokes on it. At one point google even had a joke, when you googled where is chuck norris?, the first result was "behind you".

Chuck norris doesnt hide, he waits.

Chuck norris uses live rattlesnakes for condoms.

Behind chuck norris' beard is another fist.

Chuck norris can touch this. (Cant touch this)

Chuck norris knows who let the dogs out.

Science cant clone Chuck norris because if they ever fought, the resulting roundhouse kick would destroy the universe.

[James Y]

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. After he left, they were no longer the Virgin Islands.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.

Jim

[The Meat man]

They wanted to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

[yablanowitz]

They wanted to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

I saw an interview where Church Norris said this was his favorite Chuck Norris joke.

[DSH007]

Haha jokes? I believe these are actually called Chuck Norris FACTS..

-When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

-Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

-Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

-Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Alright, that's enough.. there are literally 100s of these online.. they are all pretty funny. :)

[The Meat man]

They wanted to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

I saw an interview where Church Norris said this was his favorite Chuck Norris joke.

Yeah I heard about that too. :D

One of my favorites:

[Doc Dan]

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people and then it exploded.

[Doc Dan]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... three time.

[Doc Dan]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars and that’s why there’s no signs of life there.

[James Y]

When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake he does not get wet. The lake gets Chuck Norrised.

Jim

[ChrisinHove]

When Chuck Norris gets Coronavirus, the virus gets quarantined for 2 weeks...

(Read elsewhere and reposted!)

[The Meat man]

Superman has a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff.