Spyderco Limerick Contest

[Dr. Snubnose]

This is my number 500 post: Some people buy themselves a new knife when they reach this milestone, but I wanted to do something different to show my appreciation for this forum and all it's members and all that I have learned from you all. So I thought It might be fun to have a contest, How about a Spyderco Limerick Contest. Here is how it will go down...write a limerick pertaining to Spyderco and on Aug. 1st and 2nd I'll ask the forum members to vote on the best one...the winner will receive from me a new Spyderco shipped free of charge...I'm thinking a Nice FRN CE Delica would make a nice prize...Enter as often as you wish and good luck...Here's one to start you off...

For Christmas I got a knife with a hole
They called it a Spy-der-co
A Sal Glesser Invent
With a David Boye Dent
A stocking stuffer better than coal

Lets get creative now and show me your limerick skills....Doc

[David Lowry]

In case anyone doesn't know:

A limerick consists of five lines. The first line has nine beats.

The second line of a limerick also has nine beats and rhymes with the first line.

The third line of a limerick has six beats.

The fourth line of a limerick also has six beats and rhymes with the third line.

The fifth, and final line of a limerick has nine beats and rhymes with the first and second lines.

Historically, the first and last lines ended with the same word. You can still do this, but it is no longer a rule.

[clovisc]

an excellent thread... and applaudable generosity! thanks so very much for the contest, doc...!

"
Enthralling disease without cure:
that of the Spydie connoissseur
who twitters and panics
for Meerkat and Manix...
Oh! Blithe, brand-faithful epicure!
"

[DAYWALKER]

Aloha Dr. Snubnose!

Congrats on the 500, and I like the way you celebrate!

Looks like clovisc is gonna win this one for sure! :D

God bless :cool:

[rastus]

Woe to those who don't understand it
bitten by spyder la Karambit
the Jester has it's place
the Dodo is from space
the Persian puts a smile on my face :)
---Tom

[rastus]

My search for a knife starts long ago
Soon happy I find a Spyderco
Though happy as can be
I will never be free
My drug is the Bug, it's plain to see :D
---Tom

[BBRex]

I'll give it a shot (Thanks, Dr. Snubnose for a great contest):

The Spydie's a bug that is fun,
but it can bite you in more ways that one.
You'll spend the rest of your life,
buying knife after knife,
and your collection still won't be done.

—Bryan

[chart]

Dr. Snubnose,

Congratulations on 500 and thanks for your generosity and a fun contest. Here is my goofy effort. I'll call it Love and a Spydie":

Such is the source of marital strife:
“I do promise to love you for life!
With you I’m so smitten.
Please help me! I’m bitten!”
This I said to my Spydie not wife!

I thought her to be out on that night
With her friends in the bright city light.
But a change in the plan
Sent her back to her man.
Outside the door she stood out of sight.

Somehow she thought: “He has a lover.
He’s not even trying to hide her.”
But up there in our room
Defending against gloom
I was talking out loud to my Spyder!

“You’re lovely in black, gorgeous in blue.
You do all that I ask you to do.
Your fit and your finish…”
“You’re fit and you’re Finnish…”
She heard in the adulterous view.

(But I know Golden was the place of her birth,
And more generally dear Planet Earth
It’s here Eric and Sal
Turn out my little pal
And they sell it for less than it's worth.)

"A touch of lube here, a dab right there
Makes my pleasure without any care.
Oh, your sweet walk and talk
Oh, your famous ball-lock
I'm so happy! I'm walking on air!"

“With you at my side I become whole.
Your beauty cuts straight to my soul.
When it rains and it muds
I suppose I like studs,
But I die for your patented hole!”

“Enough!” came the cry, down came the door.
“This is the end for you and your whore!”
But when startled to see
Just my Dodo and me,
Howling, laughing, she rolled 'cross the floor.

She says "I understand your love, Stan.
Just know women can lust like a man.
We share the addiction,
We share the affliction.
None moves me like my Catcherman can!"

Together: "My blade's perfect you see.
Beautiful ergos. Gentility.
Yet sharp as a razor
It cuts like a laser.
It’s not just a knife...It’s a Spydie!"

[clovisc]

very impressive, chart!

it reads like a libretto for "spyderco, the opera."

[David Lowry]

Um......my vote goes to Chart :D

Wow. Nice work Chart. :)

[rastus]

I must bow to Chart; I cannot compete :D
---Tom

[chinook]

Given choice 'tween food for the table
or ZDP sprints I'm unable.
I always compromise,
fair in anyone's eyes.
Calypso splits hotdogs quite able.

Confessed to my priest in confession.
"I am possessed by my possessions."
Happens with Spyderco
I am sure you all know.
"Padre, 'round my wife use descretion."

Unable to hold my sin within
being a man quite masculine
I faced my loving wife
barely 'scaped with my life
If she'd EDCed I'd lost my twins.

I promised her no more balogna
Held her 'bove any knife I've known of
I showed her this forum
you men of decorum.
Fine till screensaver showed Simona

[The Deacon]

Because of a man named Sal Glesser,
There so many knives in my dresser,
That my briefs I can't find, Oh!
I must "go commando"
or stay home, which evil is lesser?

[David Lowry]

Because of a man named Sal Glesser,
There so many knives in my dresser,
That my briefs I can't find, Oh!
I must "go commando"
or stay home, which evil is lesser?

That's a great one :D and it also almost made my spit out my drink due to laughter :)

[Rob]

Great thread! I'd also like to try but please bear with me as English is not my mothertongue :o

A new knife and for sure good to use.
To cut with it and not to abuse.
I hear other knives cry:
Buy me! Buy me now! BUY!!!
No cash left but nuff Spydies to use!

:D

Cheers, Rob

[Rob]

****, that's not easy but kind of funny (although I can only come up with total nonsense)...

My dear friend, can I ask for your knife?
Watch out it's sharp - no trainer but live!
Sure! (and sits on the couch)
He opens and cuts - OUCH!
You did not listen but that is life.

and another one :rolleyes:

My other knives - lonely they will grow
if I don't buy one more Spyderco
The bug has biten me
No, not much - only wee
And yet another knife I bring home

I know, a bit lame :o but still one more (thats addictive!)

I do not like no Smith and Wesson
I thought I taught you this lesson
What pleases me quite so
Is a nice Spyderco
Only that will fit well when I dress on



Tim Taylor says to lovely Heidi:
"Hand me my brand new and sharp Spydie!"
We all know where this ends -
In a surgeons able hands
Good that the mishap is only wee

Cheers, Rob

[Dr. Snubnose]

Good job guys here's another from me:

And I went and bought me a Dodo
and my wife said that's a No No
So she cut off my thing :eek:
and now wears it as bling
and when I look down I say Ut-Oh
....Doc :D

[The Deacon]

****, that's not easy but kind of funny (although I can only come up with total nonsense)... Cheers, Rob

Rob, for someone for whom English is not their native language, you are doing phenomenally well! One trick with limericks, and poetry in general (at least in English) is what's called "poetic license" which allows certain liberties with the language that (at one time, at least) would have been frowned upon if used by prose authors, in order to make things rhyme. As an example, the last line of one of yours...

Only that will fit well when I dress on

could be changed to..

It's the one that fits best when I'm dressin'.

Will only add that, as far as your regular posts go, I doubt anyone here in the states would have ever doubted you if you said you lived in Indiana.

[Stuart Ackerman]

I was going to post...but Charts' post blew me away!
Very good, Charts :)

[greencobra]

If I may......


I'm gonna write this Spyderco ode,
So I can win this knife motherlode.
Sharp, shiney, and opens like a dream,
If I don't have mine with me, it's like coffee without cream.

Went for a swim at the local pool,
People said "watch out for rust, you're a **** fool."
No problem I say while havin' fun,
Today I'm usin' my yellow H-one.

A Delica is for me, how about you?
It'll stay in my pocket until my life is through.
Compact, light, with a funny hole and pocket clip,
She cuts through anything with plenty of zip.

Want a collection as large and great,
As Deacons, our Spyderco Secretary of State.
Those bone handled Kiwis are so fine,
I intend to get one too and make it mine.

UK Ken, you've been good to me,
Someday I'll visit and we'll talk and have tea.
The Spyderco I wanted, you ponted it out,
From accross the sea, you gave me a shout.

Not to forget Daywalker, from the 50th state,
You're one of the folks who make the forum great.
A little self defense goes a long way,
All you need now is a dragon to slay.

JD, JD, your new Hawkbill is near,
But let me make one thing perfectly clear.
The Big Red Machine is long past it's prime,
And Pete Rose committed the worst crime.

No I haven't forgotten the rest of you,
I'm tired now so I think I'm through.
A nap I'll take so a fond farewell,
I'll dream of Spydercos to buy, trade, and sell.

When this guy makes his thousandth post,
To **** with the poem, instead I'll raise a toast.
So now you know where I spend all my time and money,
I'm always broke, and that ain't so funny.