Spyderco Forums

Great stuff! Keep it coming!

I absolutely don't get it :confused:

The teacher also.

A man climbs a tree to escape being attacked by a bear.

The local paper is all over the story:

"Man Climbs Tree with Bear Behind"

Whether you agree with this one minute video or not,
one has to admit the kid has talent.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1386588413114081280

Caught my son chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.

z4vdBt wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:29 am

Caught my son chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.

Hahahahaha. That's a dang riot.

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A blind man walks into a bar.....then a chair.....then a table.

Three old men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor said to the first old man, "What is one plus one?"

"Two hundred seventy-four," he replied.

The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is one plus one?"

"Tuesday," replied the second man.

The doctor said to the third man, "Ok, your turn. What's one plus one?"

"Two," said the third man.

"That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

Doc Dan wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 27, 2021 10:42 pm

Three old men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor said to the first old man, "What is one plus one?"

"Two hundred seventy-four," he replied.

The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is one plus one?"

"Tuesday," replied the second man.

The doctor said to the third man, "Ok, your turn. What's one plus one?"

"Two," said the third man.

"That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA love this. good stuff in this thread.

A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Hahahaha!

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue. I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

A woman's three-year-old daughter recently came into the kitchen and asked, “Where does poo come from?”

The mother decided it was best to explain it to her at a level she would understand, so she said, “Well, food goes into your mouth, then down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs from the food, then what’s left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo.”

She looked confused and stared at her in a stunned silence for a few seconds.

Then she asked, “And what about Tigger?”

A father liked to read his young children fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humour, he often ad-libbed parts of the stories for fun.

One day his youngest child was sitting in his kindergarten class and his teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.

The teacher said, “And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said ‘Pardon me Sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?'”

Then the teacher asked the class, “And what do you think the man said?”

The man's son raised his hand and said, “I know! I know! He said, ‘Holy cow! A talking pig!'”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

lol Tigger.

- - -

He really wanted to become a Benedictine monk, but he never got the chants.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus the pawnbroker to ask for a loan.

Croesus said - I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it.

But I paid a million dinars for it. Don't you know who I am? I am the king.

When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.

Aaaahhhh! :eek:

HAHAHAHA!

How much do pirate earrings cost? A buccaneer.

Thank goodness for blinds or it'd be curtains for all of us.

The blonde walked into the store and said: ‘I’d like to buy this TV.’
The store clerk replied: ‘We don’t sell to blondes.’
The blonde got angry and went home. She dyes her hair black, puts on skate clothes and goes back to the store and says ‘I’d like to buy this TV.’
The store clerk replied: ‘We don’t sell to blondes!’
The blonde got furious and rushed to the barber, cut her hair, put on men’s clothes and went back to the store and said: ‘I’d like to buy this TV.’
The store clerk replied: ‘We don’t sell to blondes!’
The blonde stared in wonder and replied: ‘Now I’ve dyed my hair black, cut it and put on men’s clothes, how can you be so certain that I am blonde?’
The store clerk replied: ‘That’s no TV, it’s a microwave oven!’

Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Curtis & Leroy replied,"Well, then just give us our money back." The farmer said,"Can't do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Leroy said, "We shore can! We don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do." Leroy said,"We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.