Oh Boy...The 2010 Darwin Awards are out

Dr. Snubnose · #1

Darwin Awards for 2010

8th Runner-up
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

7th Runner-up
A 49-year old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Runner-up
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and was sitting in a beach chair at the bottom of the pit when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Runner-up
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch (FLASHLIGHT) he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

4th Runner-up
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

3rd Runner-up
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed

SALUTATORIAN (FIRST RUNNER UP)
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of excrement on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves...'s--t happens.'

IT IS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!

Doc :eek:

delicafreak · #2

Thanks for the good laughs doc =)

c.joe · #3

Love these!!

Creepo · #4

Lol at 7th and 3rd. :D
I mean the only thing even dumber would be to go rob a police station... :D

chuck_roxas45 · #5

Thanks for the post Doc. :D

I'm ROFLMAO!

Pinetreebbs · #6

Dr. Snubnose wrote:Darwin Awards for 2010

...proves...'s--t happens.'

Doc :eek:

Indeed it does, thanks for sharing. :D

SQSAR · #7

Too Funny. Remember, stupid people serve a purpose in this world too, , , , if we didn't have people who are considered to be dumb, we would have no reference by which to define ourselves as smart. And I am continually amazed at my ability to make others look smart.

tonydahose · #8

thanks for the laugh Doc. if it wasn't for stupid people i would be out of a job :D . i have seen a similiar one to #5 before in past years, i guess this guy didn't read the darwin awards or he would have bought a smaller light. we had a similiar one to #3 in our county. a sheriff told me the story of a guy who was holding up stores up and down the same street, so the cops hid in one of them just waiting. sure enough he showed up and pulled a gun on about 6-7 cops. the autopsy showed something like 40 holes in the guy, some in his feet thru the sole and out the top of his foot. a few guys kept shooting while he was down, he must have still been twitching

.

Gibsoniam · #9

Oh my, some people are too stupid. Survival of the fittest, and these sure weren't fit!

Haha!

tonydahose · #10

most come from the shallow end of the gene pool.

flipe8 · #11

The words "Hey boys, watch this..." always come to mind after reading these threads :D . Thanks for the laughs!

Tsujigiri · #12

The Darwin Awards are great! Thanks for posting.

Donut · #13

3rd was a good one. I hope no one here ends up on next year's. :)

HotSoup · #14

Facepalm.jpg

Jesting Devil · #15

In the words of Forrest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does!"

Thanks for sharing Doc :D

Sequimite · #16

I have to object. How can the guy who's foot was torn off take second place when he has not removed himself from the gene pool? I'm afraid their standards are slipping.

Plus I thought the guy robbing the gun store should have won.

tonydahose · #17

i dont know about that, i guy shoulder deep giving an enema to an elephant and than suffocating under 200lbs of excrement is pretty funny

.

henhen14 · #18

Oh gosh these are amazing!!!!!!!! I love these!!!! :)

Morris · #19

A very quick Google search shows the elephant poo story showing up as far back as 1999 on a BBC website...

99% of what one reads on the interwebs is total BS (or ES)... :)

Pinetreebbs · #20

Morris wrote:A very quick Google search shows the elephant poo story showing up as far back as 1999 on a BBC website...

99% of what one reads on the interwebs is total BS (or ES)... :)

Actually, 98.7% of all statistics, and internet posts, are composed of genuine faux facts, made up on the spot.