Why Men Are Never Depressed
- tonydahose
- Member
- Posts: 6277
- Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:56 am
- Location: Chicago
- Contact:
Why Men Are Never Depressed
here is another funny email i just received...no offense meant to ladies on the board...we would be lost without you :)
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People--- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays it's original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes --- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People--- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays it's original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes --- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it
WTC #1444 Always Remember
Need info on a particular :spyder:, just click here
My knives
Spydie count: a few:D
Need info on a particular :spyder:, just click here
My knives
Spydie count: a few:D
- spyderHS08
- Member
- Posts: 1793
- Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2007 3:50 pm
- Location: KS, USA, Earth
thats hilarious tony. The truth is beautiful! 
39 & counting...
:spyder: E3, Para mili, Salt 1 PE, Native, D3 OD, Ladybug, UKPK, Dodo, D4, Tasman, Ladybug Salt, Smallfly, Khukuri, Para Military, USN E4, Persistence, Civilian, Yojimbo, Smallfly, Manix 2 CE, Dodo, Military, D4 , Blackhawk, Pac Salt, Military, Manix 2, Captain, Assist, D'fly PE, Spyderhawk SE, Persian, Lum tanto, Warrior, Lil Temp, Tuff, spyderfly, szabofly, :spyder:
Dodo!
:spyder: E3, Para mili, Salt 1 PE, Native, D3 OD, Ladybug, UKPK, Dodo, D4, Tasman, Ladybug Salt, Smallfly, Khukuri, Para Military, USN E4, Persistence, Civilian, Yojimbo, Smallfly, Manix 2 CE, Dodo, Military, D4 , Blackhawk, Pac Salt, Military, Manix 2, Captain, Assist, D'fly PE, Spyderhawk SE, Persian, Lum tanto, Warrior, Lil Temp, Tuff, spyderfly, szabofly, :spyder:
Dodo!
Thanks, Tony! :D
Raqudu :D
Freedom is never a gift. It is the "pearl of great price" in anguish won.
[RIGHT]- The Theological Concept of Freedom[/RIGHT]
"Well, it's a nice soft night so I think I'll go and join me comrades and talk a little treason."
[RIGHT]- Michaleen Flynn (Barry Fitzgerald) in "The Quiet Man"[/RIGHT]
Freedom is never a gift. It is the "pearl of great price" in anguish won.
[RIGHT]- The Theological Concept of Freedom[/RIGHT]
"Well, it's a nice soft night so I think I'll go and join me comrades and talk a little treason."
[RIGHT]- Michaleen Flynn (Barry Fitzgerald) in "The Quiet Man"[/RIGHT]
- Spydergirl
- Member
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:43 pm
- Location: Virginia
Pretty funny, even from a woman's perspective :p You guys do seem to have it better. Although, I did find some fun quotes for the women as a counter balance:
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece. ~Author Unknown
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy. ~Ellery Queen
Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble. ~"Doctor Leon," drleons.com
I married beneath me - all women do. ~Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951
Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. ~Anita Loos, New York Times, 10 February 1974
...And I end with a quote from Shakespeare:
Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal.
:D
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece. ~Author Unknown
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy. ~Ellery Queen
Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble. ~"Doctor Leon," drleons.com
I married beneath me - all women do. ~Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951
Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. ~Anita Loos, New York Times, 10 February 1974
...And I end with a quote from Shakespeare:
Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal.
:D
"Life's like a movie / Write your own ending." - The Muppets