Family friendly jokes

If your topic has nothing to do with Spyderco, you can post it here.
Post Reply
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1961

Post by Doc Dan »

Cars nowadays have too many gadgets, like movie screens. I tried to reverse the other day and it played a video of a man getting run over by a car.
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Manixguy@1994
Member
Posts: 17230
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2016 12:12 pm
Location: Central Illinois
Contact:
Contact Manixguy@1994

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1962

Post by Manixguy@1994 »

:winking-tongue Image You beat me to it!
MNOSD 0002 / Do more than is required of you . Patton
Nothing makes earth so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
Henry David Thoreau
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1963

Post by Doc Dan »

Manixguy@1994 wrote: ↑
Sat Aug 23, 2025 4:43 am
 :winking-tongue Image You beat me to it!
Great minds think alike. Or, maybe warped minds think alike! :grin-smiling-eyes
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1964

Post by Doc Dan »

Image
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1965

Post by Doc Dan »

Image
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1966

Post by Doc Dan »

Last night I walked past a restaurant with a sign that said:
“Order anything you want, and if we don’t have it, we’ll give you £500.”

So I went inside and ordered giraffe ears on toast with a side of baboon tails.

A little while later, the waiter came back with £500 in cash and said:
“It’s your lucky day… we’re out of bread.”
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1967

Post by Doc Dan »

95% of all EV's are still on the road.
► Show Spoiler
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1968

Post by Doc Dan »

Image
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
The Meat man
Member
Posts: 5891
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:01 pm
Location: Missouri, USA

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1969

Post by The Meat man »

Doc Dan wrote: ↑
Fri Aug 22, 2025 10:21 pm
 Cars nowadays have too many gadgets, like movie screens. I tried to reverse the other day and it played a video of a man getting run over by a car.
That's awful! Haha! :rofl
- Connor

"What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"
Top
User avatar
Manixguy@1994
Member
Posts: 17230
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2016 12:12 pm
Location: Central Illinois
Contact:
Contact Manixguy@1994

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1970

Post by Manixguy@1994 »

Image
MNOSD 0002 / Do more than is required of you . Patton
Nothing makes earth so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
Henry David Thoreau
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1971

Post by Doc Dan »

Me: This shoe is too tight.

Salesperson: Try it with the tongue out.

Me: It'th thtill thoo thight.
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1972

Post by Doc Dan »

Image
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1973

Post by Doc Dan »

Image
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1974

Post by Doc Dan »

Image
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Manixguy@1994
Member
Posts: 17230
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2016 12:12 pm
Location: Central Illinois
Contact:
Contact Manixguy@1994

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1975

Post by Manixguy@1994 »

Image
MNOSD 0002 / Do more than is required of you . Patton
Nothing makes earth so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
Henry David Thoreau
Top
James Y
Member
Posts: 10107
Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:33 am
Location: Southern CA

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1976

Post by James Y »

A police officer came to my house and asked where I was between 5 and 6. He seemed irritated when I answered: "Kindergarten."

Jim
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1977

Post by Doc Dan »

How long does a person have to be dead before it's considered archaeology instead of grave robbing? Asking for a friend.
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Doc Dan
Member
Posts: 16171
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:25 am
Location: In a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity.

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1978

Post by Doc Dan »

I didn't make it to the gym today. That's five years in a row.
I Pray Heaven to Bestow The Best of Blessing on THIS HOUSE, and on ALL that shall hereafter Inhabit it. May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof! (John Adams regarding the White House)

Follow the Christ, the King,
Live pure, speak true, right wrong, follow the King--
Else, wherefore born?" (Tennyson)


NRA Life Member
Spydernation 0050
Top
User avatar
Manixguy@1994
Member
Posts: 17230
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2016 12:12 pm
Location: Central Illinois
Contact:
Contact Manixguy@1994

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1979

Post by Manixguy@1994 »

Image
MNOSD 0002 / Do more than is required of you . Patton
Nothing makes earth so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
Henry David Thoreau
Top
Ow!Icutmyself!
Member
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2025 4:13 pm

Re: Family friendly jokes

#1980

Post by Ow!Icutmyself! »

SkullBouncer wrote: ↑
Tue May 05, 2020 8:36 am
 The longest palindrome of which I am aware:

A Man A Plan A Canal Panama


;) :D
Satorarepotenetoperarotas
“The creator slow moving maintains his creations as vortices”
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Off-Topic”