Is this okay or disrespectful to people?

[SpyderEdgeForever]

If someone has a name like David, Jim, Bob, or others, and you add an "ie" or "ey" or "y" to the end, and call them "Hey Davey, Hey Jimmy, hey Bobby", etc, without first asking them if that is okay?

There was someone I knew with the name Douglas and Doug for short, and I said "Hey Douggy, how are you today my friend?" And they did not get angry but corrected me and said "Please call me Doug." He did not want me to even use his full first name.

What are your thoughts on such things?

[paladin]

The only grown men I know who use the ie, ey, & y suffix are all ball coaches....

[jmh58]

Well.. My first name is John.. I am 58 and have been called Johnnie all my life off and on.. Don't bother me one bit.. If I call someone Timmie or Jimmie etc and they don't like it tell me.. If not..

What does get me is being called Bro, Pal or Cuz etc.. I have a name so use it!!! John :)

[demoncase]

Here in the UK, it's quite common in the Midlands and North to have the '-y' appended to your name.
Just means a familiarity with you that approaches warmth rather than any disrespect.

If it bothers someone, they normally ask you politely not to. Without harm done. :)

Note: I'm the other way around- I'm a "Jonathan" but I prefer the diminutive "Jon".
I do get 'Jonny' on occasion and it's no issue.
As I say "Please: Call me Jon- I'm only Jonathan when I'm in trouble....y'know- the full three syllables from the bottom of the stairs!"
...I must admit, this tends to be most common with you guys on the other side of the Pond, where ponderously calling me 'Jonathan' on conference calls makes me wince. A lot. :D

[mrtodd777]

Down her in Texas, it means no disrespect at all.. I work with a George that I always call "Georgie boy" or another guy, Steve, that I call Steve-O.. It is a sign of friendship and endearment in my neck of the woods. My name is Todd, and a few folks at work call me Toddie... No bid deal at all..

[SpyderNut]

I was called Mikey when I was a kid. I think it had something to do with the Life cereal commercial from the '80s. My family calls me Mike, but they also call me other things that I can't repeat here. :D :rolleyes:

Like Jon (Demoncase) mentioned, my full name (+middle name) was reserved for times when I over-stepped my parents' boundaries and was "cruising for a bruising," as my grandfather liked to say. Later, I was called Michael in college because the profs had a thing for calling kids by their full name. I mainly go by Michael, but Mike is fine too.

As a general rule, I will refrain from calling somebody by a nickname until I get to know them better. If they insist I call them a certain name, I will honor their request.

[The Deacon]

I'd say no, it's not ok, unless that's what the person normally calls himself. Some men won't mind, but some will see that particular form of their name as something they outgrew about the time they started dressing themselves and consider it an insult and a form of disrespect.

[Blerv]

I can't but also don't have a THICK Brooklyn accent. I think those guys can get away with it better than most. :D

[tvenuto]

It depends entirely on you. If you're comfortable doing it, and you mean no malice by it, the person will read that and accept it from you. My business partner is constantly shortening peoples names (Brian becomes "Bri"), and no one ever bats an eye. However, I don't feel comfortable doing that so I don't. If I wanted to emulate him for some reason, and I started doing it, I'm sure people would pick up on my discomfort and would feel weird about it too. With interpersonal things like this it is far more important how you feel about it than how they feel about it.

[demoncase]

Like Jon (Demoncase) mentioned, my full name (+middle name) was reserved for times when I over-stepped my parents' boundaries and was "cruising for a bruising," as my grandfather liked to say..

Oh, the full first name AND middle name is Defcon 1- the B52s are taking off, the ICBMs are fuelling and everyone's running for the bomb shelter- with me at the front of the line :D

[SpyderNut]

Like Jon (Demoncase) mentioned, my full name (+middle name) was reserved for times when I over-stepped my parents' boundaries and was "cruising for a bruising," as my grandfather liked to say..

Oh, the full first name AND middle name is Defcon 1- the B52s are taking off, the ICBMs are fuelling and everyone's running for the bomb shelter- with me at the front of the line :D

Amen, brother. :D The only thing worse than this was hearing my full name (including my last name) being yelled. This pretty much meant a certain crucifixion at the hands of my parents. :o It happened a few times, IIRC. I must have been a naughty child. :eek: :D

[Blerv]

It depends entirely on you. If you're comfortable doing it, and you mean no malice by it, the person will read that and accept it from you. My business partner is constantly shortening peoples names (Brian becomes "Bri"), and no one ever bats an eye. However, I don't feel comfortable doing that so I don't. If I wanted to emulate him for some reason, and I started doing it, I'm sure people would pick up on my discomfort and would feel weird about it too. With interpersonal things like this it is far more important how you feel about it than how they feel about it.

That's very true. Some personalities just get more latitude than others. We all have our own quirks and being the person who always comes up with nicknames has some downfalls as well.

IMHO, people tend to annoy me in varying levels and I try to avoid doing the same. With all the stuff you can't control (subconscious) curbing the overt annoyances is a step in reducing that life footprint.

[twinboysdad]

I worked with a Robert that I called Bob once. He asked me politely to never call him that and he said he had his reasons. Years after we stopped working together I asked a co-worker what was up with that and it turns out Robert had a family member murdered by a guy named Bob. Point is you never know...

[SpyderEdgeForever]

Thank you all for the replies on this. Regarding throwing around the use of the word "bro", yeah I once saw two guys almost get into a fist-fight over that. One said something like "Hey bro, how's it goin?" to the other, who became very offended and said "I'm not your bro, don't call me that." A man I knew who was a military veteran and of the Native American background told me in the service he was often called "Chief", and took a liking to it, but would not tolerate that from just general people on the street.

[remnar]

I think it really depends on the person. Some people probably don't mind at all as long as you don't mean any disrespect and might even like the informal and familiar tone. Others may prefer that you not add the "y" and will tell you so and others may not prefer the "y" but won't say anything at all. I think it's only that last group that you need to be concerned about offending.

I tend to agree with those that say the "y" is something that is often dropped when one becomes an adult, but not always. For example, my brother William was always called Billy when we were growing up but some time around high school he became Bill. He never uses Billy anymore and if someone were to call him William Martin, that would mean he's in big trouble.

[SpyderEdgeForever]

Remnar I can definitely see that yeah. Did you ever notice, too, how in some schools they would start to address students by their last name, instead of their first names, as in lower grades? In some high schools they would read off names for a test or something by the last name. Is that because they wanted to get students more familiar with what they would expect as adults in the business and government world?

And while that is brought up: Do you all think it is inappropriate for a person in a setting such as a school with student/teacher-professor, or doctor-patient, or other such situations to refer to the doctor, teacher, professor, or other person in authority by their first name, or, again, does it depend on how close they are and how long they have known each other, and what the other person accepts or does not accept?

Example: If you visited a doctor to give you a general checkup, and his name was "Doctor Roger Smith", would it be very out of place for you to say "Thank you, Roger, for your fine service." as opposed to "Thank you Dr, Smith for your fine service."? Or would it be okay, depending on how long you've known him, and what he prefers?

I remember one high school teacher who would seriously reprimand verbally any student who dared to call him by his first name. This was completely forbidden and unallowed, and one time a student did that just to be a pain in the butt, and was threatened with detention if they ever did it again.

[Dr. Snubnose]

For the first five years of my life I thought my name was No No!....I think it's ok to call anybody what you see fitting....if that person has a problem with it....they will let you know....just don't do it again if that person prefers to be called something else. Your name is your keynote that connects you to the universe....for me I never use my first name or middle name at all...just for legal purposes.....the rest of the time everyone either calls me by my title or nickname...I'm fine with it....Doc:)

[Pinetreebbs]

What would compel one to change another person's name? IMO, it's a form of disrespect. Now if you have a name that is difficult to pronounce or prone to mispronunciation, that is another matter. In that case do maintain a sense of humor and don't get upset when the likely happens.

Nicknames, totally different and they just happen, sometimes they make sense and sometimes they do not.

Interesting topic, it isn't just proper names that folks that change, Spyderco: Spydy, Sebenza: Sebby, wife: wifey, husband: hubby, etc, like some sort of cool speak or adult baby talk, who knows.

[Sharp Guy]

It really depends on the person. If someone calls somebody by a name they don't like I would think they'd politely ask them to call them by the name they prefer. But some folks aren't so polite about it. Personally, if I'm introduced to someone I'll call them by the name I'm given until I'm invited to call them by something other than what I was originally told. I always try to be as repectful as possible to casual acquaintances until I know them well enough to know what they like to go by. It also doesn't hurt to ask someone with a name like Robert, Michael, Johnathan, etc what name they prefer to use so there are no hard feelings down the road.

Patrick....aka Pat but do not call me Patty! :D

[bearfacedkiller]

Well, my name is Darby and all my life people have been very comfortable just calling me Darb. Many people start doing it as soon as they meet me. It has never bothered me at all. I actually grew up in Boston so most of my family can't even pronounce my name. They pronounce it more like Dahb or Dahby. I am pretty easy going so whatever.

I also grew up in a culture where calling people by their last name is quite common and I actually call many of my very, very close friends by their last name and they all often do the same. My last name is one of the 5 most common last names in America and I have a very uncommon first name so I have never had a nickname and have mostly just gone by Darby but back home using last names is common.