Family friendly jokes

[Doc Dan]

:D
Lol! That is a real groaner

[defenestrate]

What do you call a Punjabi in a Karaoke Bar?


Gitupen Singh. :D

I Sikh what you did there ;/

[Doc Dan]

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes.

[prndltech]

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

[Bloke]

What do you call a Punjabi in a Karaoke Bar?


Gitupen Singh. :D

I Sikh what you did there ;/

:)

[The Meat man]

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

Ha ha! :D

[z4vdBt]

[Doc Dan]

The young Army Lieutenant was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.
He was on his way out of the office when his Commander came over to him with an outstretched hand and said: “Congratulations Lieutenant! I just wanted to tell you I’ve been married for 22 years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life.”
“But sir”, said the lieutenant, a little bit confused. “I’m not getting married until tomorrow!”
His commander sighed and patted him on the back: “Yes Lieutenant, I know.”

[bearfacedkiller]

I have a few jokes about unemployed people.

Unfortunately none of them work though.

[bearfacedkiller]

I just started renting an apartment around the corner from Carnegie Hall.

It is great! When someone asks me how to get to my house I tell them, “Practice, practice, practice,,,, then take a left.”

[Bloke]

finally a groom and was very excited

[Doc Dan]

Oh wow! Hahaha!

[Doc Dan]

My wife and I got stuck in an elevator. When we got home we told our kids about it. So they said:

“Sooo...Did you get out?”

Right then my wife and I made a pact to start spending our kids college fund.

[z4vdBt]

:D

[bearrowland]

[Doc Dan]

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said: “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in with: “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one responded: “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem. Knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, “Someone’s at the door, I’ll get it!”

[z4vdBt]

:)

[Doc Dan]

An elderly man had dinner at a very nice restaurant. After he finished his wine, he went to the men’s room, then walked out through the bar.
It was a beautiful evening, so he decided to leave his car in the parking lot and walk home.
When he arrived at his front door, he realised he didn’t have his keys. He finally figured they must be in his jacket pocket, which was still hanging in the restroom. He walked back to the restaurant, found his jacket in the men’s room, and realised he’d left his hat on the table.
He strolled back to the dining room to retrieve his hat, and when he got to his table, his wife asked: “Is anything wrong? You took such a long time in there.”

[Doc Dan]

A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God: “How long is a billion years to you?”
God says: “A billion years is like a second to me.”
The man asks: “Well, how much is a billion dollars to you?”
God says: “A billion dollars is like a penny to me.”

So the man says: “God, can I have a penny?”
And God replies: “In a second.”

[SkullBouncer]

I literally LOL'D -- Good Joke, Good On Ya. :D