Practical Jokes

[Doc Dan]

I love practical jokes. I got that from my father, who everyone thought was so straight laced, but many never realized he was capable of some seriously funny gags.

I do not like jokes that shame people. I do not think they are funny. I do not like jokes that harm people. That is not funny, either.

One of the practical jokes I pulled 47 or so years ago, is still causing laughs between the two of us who know the secret. I was about 12 and my friend was about 16 or so. We saved our money and wrote to Paramount Pictures and bought some makeup items, like crepe hair, grease paint, and etc. There were 3 of us (one is no longer living) and we took that older boy and covered him with crepe hair, blackened his nose and eyes with grease paint, made some fake teeth, and made some large ears with hair. Then we went to the road frequented by teenagers out drinking and driving, and winos, etc. and when a likely car was spotted from the hill top, he would cross the road in front of the headlights. Cars would screech to a halt, drunks would pile out of cars and look around stupidly. It wasn't long before these sightings of a bigfoot like creature in the area and gone from urban myth to urban fact in people's minds. haHahaha!

Another one I did is I got a bunch of large balloons of various colors and into each one I put a pen light. Then I filled them up with helium and tied them all together in one large bundle. One a good clear night I let the bundle go over the city. Soon, the police telephone line was jammed with reports of a glowing UFO over the city. Fighter jets from the nearby military base were scrambled. People were all outside of their homes gazing into the night sky to catch a glimpse of a craft from another world. Hahahaha!

[ChrisinHove]

Epic!

[Bloke]

Not sure I can top those two Doc but I’ve been a joker for as long as I can remember and like you I must have got it from my dad too.

I went to an all boys high school and I used to smoke. There was one particular older bigger kid, Jim Rossington who used to stand over us younger smaller kids for smokes.

Back then fireworks where freely available around The Queen’s Birthday weekend and there where these little crackers about 1/8” diameter and about 1” long that where red or green and called Tom Thumbs.

One day I got to thinking I should make exploding cigarettes so I carefully pulled tobacco out the end of a cigarette with my mum’s eyebrow tweezers, slipped in a Tom Thumb and just as carefully packed the tobacco back around it. Now if the cracker didn’t go off when it was still in Jim’s mouth as he lite it it was a waste of time so the wick had to be very short and the cracker near flush with the end of the smoke. I ended up making a few and tested them on my mates but only one worked as it should and my mate Lenny nearly had a heart attack which was great but the others either didn’t go off at all or went off too late.

Anyhow, I made another batch tried them on some other kids down the road and they all worked. So I made a third batch and put them in my pack upside down so I knew where they were and took them to school.

As expected Jim demanded a smoke and I gave him one. He lit it and it exploded better than any of the previous ones in a cloud of tobacco and shredded paper and I high tailed it before he recovered. Ah, hahaha! I’m laughing as I type and I remember it like it was yesterday. :cool:

[Doc Dan]

HahahaHa! That's a good one, Bloke!

My father was a real jokester, and one day he had a bright idea. Of course he pulled me into the joke, too. We got an old 55 gallon drum and cut both ends out. Then, we stretched a wet piece of leather across the top, making a drum. After it dried, we poked a tiny hole in the center and put a rawhide lace/string, a long one of several feet in length, into the hole. Then, using some rosin like they use on violin bows, we coated the whole rawhide string/lace. We took it out down by the river and set it up with the hollow end pointed out to the river and towards all of the homes scattered here and there along the banks and bluffs. When we pulled that string, it let out a growl that sounded like Godzilla or King Kong were down in the river bottom looking for something to eat! It scared those people out of their socks! The cops were called, everyone was talking about the monster. Of course, we told them we did not believe in monsters. hahaha!

[curlyhairedboy]

HahahaHa! That's a good one, Bloke!

My father was a real jokester, and one day he had a bright idea. Of course he pulled me into the joke, too. We got an old 55 gallon drum and cut both ends out. Then, we stretched a wet piece of leather across the top, making a drum. After it dried, we poked a tiny hole in the center and put a rawhide lace/string, a long one of several feet in length, into the hole. Then, using some rosin like they use on violin bows, we coated the whole rawhide string/lace. We took it out down by the river and set it up with the hollow end pointed out to the river and towards all of the homes scattered here and there along the banks and bluffs. When we pulled that string, it let out a growl that sounded like Godzilla or King Kong were down in the river bottom looking for something to eat! It scared those people out of their socks! The cops were called, everyone was talking about the monster. Of course, we told them we did not believe in monsters. hahaha!

This is fantastic. :D

[The Meat man]

Man now I feel like I wasted my childhood. :)
That is hilarious Doc and Bloke!! :D

[Bloke]

Ah, hahaha! :) Too funny Doc! :cool:

I was a rigger, dogman and drove a tower crane later between the age of 19 and 40yrs and we pulled practical jokes every day.

In 1983 I was a young steel erector (I think you’d call us high iron workers) working on a new coal fired powerhouse we were building. Our foreman, a gem of a man nicknamed Candy caught my mate and I smoking a joint one day while waiting for the next bit of steel, stripped us of our wings for a fortnight and sent us to work with the novice riggers rattling (tightening) bolts etc.

He gave us another menial job one morning putting up a swinging stage (like window cleaners use) to rattle some bolts not accessible from the steel work.

I figured since Candy had been laughing at us (which he had every time he saw us) we’d have a laugh at him. We went and got all the gear we needed, had the stage bought over on a little mobile crane and hung the slings to anchor it.

One of the boys had a fishing reel he wanted to sell so I went and found him a he agreed to lend it to me but he wanted in on the prank. Perfect, we needed three to pull it off anyway. I sent him up the nine or ten levels to were the anchor slings were hanging and he lowered the end of the fishing line using a washer. I tied the line to one of the thin cables that needed to be secured to the pre hung slings and my mate went down one level so he could clearly see me through the grating I was standing on and we were set.

We had a couple of smokes gave each other thumbs up, made sure all was in order and sure enough Candy turned up to see why a ten minute job had taken an hour plus, wasn’t done and wanted to know were my mate was.

I told him to keep his shirt on because this was a one man job and I’d prove it. He wasn’t overly impressed, told me I was pushing it and I’d likely spend the rest of the job rattling bolts and sweeping out mess huts.

I pulled a 32mm podger off my belt put it to my mouth like a recorder and tapped my foot. My mate on the level below started blowing his whistle (all riggers had whistles) in a silly tune as best he could and ole mate up above but out of sight on a catwalk heard it, started pulling on the fishing line and the cable started snaking skywards like magic.

Candy didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the end he gave me a smack in the head told me I was an idiot, cracked up laughing and walked away shaking his head. :rolleyes:

[harronek]

Worked driving Concrete trucks years ago and practice jokes were an everyday occurrence on that job

Best one I remember ( its the best because no one got hurt , a few jokes ended up at the A&E ) thankfully wasnt played on me , but an old guy called
Belley .
They took the small hose that was connected to the windscreen washer/squirter and redirected it through the firewall and postioned it under the steering wheel aiming straight at the drivers balls .
Then connected the power to the little pump through the turn signal relay .
Everytime you indicated to turn a corner a stream of water shot the driver in the balls with a rhythmic pulsing squirt .
Took old Belley about 10 minutes to work out something was wrong everytime he went round a corner .

Ken

[Tdog]

I've pulled this on several people and it's great....funny and sick at the same time. There's a place in Daytona that sells fake winning lotto scratch-off tickets. These look very real and unless you are reading the fine print on the back you wouldn't know they're fake. I usually buy a few real tickets and put one of these in the middle and give as birthday gifts. I gave my best beer drinking and fishing buddy one of these, and when he saw the $10,000.00 winning ticket, he started shaking. My kids were there and we all laughed until we hurt. These are a hoot but can also leave people pissed. Gave one of these mixed in with real scratch-offs at a Christmas gag gift party, had people rolling in laughter. We've since quit pulling this one as it might be considered cruel and unusual punishment. :rolleyes:

[Doc Dan]

haHaha! Those are some good ones.

[Crux]

Here's one, but I admit it really was a juvenile turd thing to do. When I was but a wee lad, I was kinda engaged to a young lass who constantly wanted a 1/4 carat upgrade to her ring. Yes, I was that poor/cheap. She mentioned it so much that her whole family was aware, not that they were on my side and dreaded this as they thought we were too young and this would be more "official" in their eyes.

As Christmas approached her chiding did little to alleviate the growing awkwardness of every family encounter. So, a week before Christmas I caved and said I would buy her a quarter carat for Christmas. As a stupid young lad, I really didn't have any idea what I was doing or why it made sense to me in anyway.

Now fast forward, we're all seated around the tree opening presents and the air is stale and full of as much dread from my in-laws as excitement from my girl. Her Mom shoots a menacing glace at me as I hand my girl her present. She smiles and giggles, looking like she had triumphed over her parent’s objections. She slowly opens the outer ring box then cracks the felt box open to find yes, a 1/4 slice of a orange carrot. Yes of course we didn't marry and I'm sure she hates me still. Like I said I was a turd.

[MacLaren]

Here's one, but I admit it really was a juvenile turd thing to do. When I was but a wee lad, I was kinda engaged to a young lass who constantly wanted a 1/4 carat upgrade to her ring. Yes, I was that poor/cheap. She mentioned it so much that her whole family was aware, not that they were on my side and dreaded this as they thought we were too young and this would be more "official" in their eyes.

As Christmas approached her chiding did little to alleviate the growing awkwardness of every family encounter. So, a week before Christmas I caved and said I would buy her a quarter carat for Christmas. As a stupid young lad, I really didn't have any idea what I was doing or why it made sense to me in anyway.

Now fast forward, we're all seated around the tree opening presents and the air is stale and full of as much dread from my in-laws as excitement from my girl. Her Mom shoots a menacing glace at me as I hand my girl her present. She smiles and giggles, looking like she had triumphed over her parent’s objections. She slowly opens the outer ring box then cracks the felt box open to find yes, a 1/4 slice of a orange carrot. Yes of course we didn't marry and I'm sure she hates me still. Like I said I was a turd.

Lol, "was " a turd.
Just kidding :D :D

[MacLaren]

There were a many played on each other back in the day.
Sometimes, people would bow up and wanna fight.
Sometimes they went a little too far lol...

[Doc Dan]

Here's one, but I admit it really was a juvenile turd thing to do. When I was but a wee lad, I was kinda engaged to a young lass who constantly wanted a 1/4 carat upgrade to her ring. Yes, I was that poor/cheap. She mentioned it so much that her whole family was aware, not that they were on my side and dreaded this as they thought we were too young and this would be more "official" in their eyes.

As Christmas approached her chiding did little to alleviate the growing awkwardness of every family encounter. So, a week before Christmas I caved and said I would buy her a quarter carat for Christmas. As a stupid young lad, I really didn't have any idea what I was doing or why it made sense to me in anyway.

Now fast forward, we're all seated around the tree opening presents and the air is stale and full of as much dread from my in-laws as excitement from my girl. Her Mom shoots a menacing glace at me as I hand my girl her present. She smiles and giggles, looking like she had triumphed over her parent’s objections. She slowly opens the outer ring box then cracks the felt box open to find yes, a 1/4 slice of a orange carrot. Yes of course we didn't marry and I'm sure she hates me still. Like I said I was a turd.

Hahahaha! Sounds like she got what she deserved.

On that note, I had a girl friend whose mother kept coming into the kitchen and washing dishes whenever I came to visit. We always sat in the kitchen for some reason. Anyway, one day I got some rubber bands and tied the sprayer button down and aimed it at just where she had to stand when she turned on the water to wash dishes. She came in as always and walked over to the sink, being a busy body. She turned on the water full force and got hosed. Hahaha! If she could have caught me she would have fixed me good! Hahahaha!

[Crux]

Your story and all the previous stories were absolutely gut busting. This might be the best thread on the forum. :) Heck, it might even get picked up as a Netflix special.

[Doc Dan]

I am a terrible sinner, I must admit. I shames me to think of how I treated people in my misspent youth. :p

Once, when I was around 12 or 13, a couple of friends of mine and I went to this circle where all of the lovers would go on Friday and Saturday night. One of the other guys had a blasting cap, the kind you set dynamite off with. They are really loud (no, you do not know where this is going, yet). So, I got this bright idea, since it was a construction area where they were building new homes. We got a car jack, the kind you put under the axel and use a long rod to turn the screw and raise the jack. We jacked up 3 or 4 cars at least, and carefully put cinder blocks under the axels so the rear wheels were off the ground. We were careful and because the world was thundering for the couples in the back seats we had no issues. Then, we set that blasting cap in the middle of the circle and set it off. It went off with a huge BOOM! and girls started screaming, guys started cussing, and jumping into the drivers seats they started their cars and zoomed off...all but 3 or 4, that is. Hahahaha! The engines were racing, but they weren't going anywhere. Panic set in for a moment, and then some awfully big guys, a lot older and bigger than us figured it out and got real mad. We were laughing so hard by then they had no problems locating us. Have you ever tried to run for your life while laughing really hard? The only thing that saved us was we knew where the old tree leaned across the big gully and in the dark we made it across and those guys had to stop. Hahahaha!!!

As I said, I am an unrepentant sinner.

[ChrisinHove]

Hah, another great one, Doc!

I’ve nothing to compare for ingenuity, but I have been chased a couple of times. The first, I dropped my older brother down a well. Both fortunately for me, and unfortunately for me, it wasn’t very deep and he chased after me for a good four mile circuit before we ended up back at home. I was quicker and fitter so was ready to go round again but he gave up.
The second was for 16 miles by the police during an exuberant late night excursion. Needless to say I learned a few lessons that day.

[Crux]

My older brothers and evil friend tied me to a tree out in the middle of the (snake and gator infested) swamp an hour before sundown. I'm not sure that was a practical joke. :mad:

[Doc Dan]

I do not like practical jokes that hurt or demean people, personally. So, I would be inclined to put that down as being mean.

[Bloke]

I do not like practical jokes that hurt or demean people, personally. So, I would be inclined to put that down as being mean.

I agree Doc but if they didn’t strip him naked, shave an eyebrow, smear him in axle grease or leave him there overnight ... hard to say.

I obviously don’t know brother Crux but something’s telling me he may have had it coming. Ah, hahaha! :)