and then the fight started...

[tonydahose]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....

_________________________________________________________


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt" So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too"

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

_________________________________________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how somethimes you just get sooo stressed, and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well then, which one are you?"

And then the fight started...

[Raqudu]

Good ones, Tony. Thanks for the laugh. :)

[Agent Starling]

Thanks for the good laugh!

Agent Starling

[spydutch]

ROTFLMAO :D :D

Thanx for the laugh Tony

[Axlis]

those were great, I needed a few laughs this morning.

[DRod]

I AM NOT HAPPY!

hahah.

[Simple Man]

Man that last one ain't right, thanks. :D

[snuffaluff]

Celebrate?!!?! what!! hahahahahaa now that's funny right there... thanks for the laugh Tony! :D

[dialex]

Hi Tony, thanks for the smile. :)
You know, yesterday I was talking with a female officer and among other subjects we came to self defense. And I told her "when you punch someone also do a small jump. This way you are not hitting with your fist only, but with all your 140 pounds". And she said: "What? Are you trying to imply that I am fat?"
And then the fight started....

[snuffaluff]

Hi Tony, thanks for the smile. :)
You know, yesterday I was talking with a female officer and among other subjects we came to self defense. And I told her "when you punch someone also do a small jump. This way you are not hitting with your fist only, but with all your 140 pounds". And she said: "What? Are you trying to imply that I am fat?"
And then the fight started....

aaaaahahahahahahahahahaaaa!! How's your black eye doing this morning? :D

[ront]

ROFL Tony.

Thanks, Ron

[ken]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....

_________________________________________________________


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt" So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too"

And then the fight started...

_______________________________________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

_________________________________________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how somethimes you just get sooo stressed, and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well then, which one are you?"

And then the fight started...

Glad you liked it. I posted this on knife fourms. Your welcome.
ken

[tonydahose]

Glad you liked it. I posted this on knife fourms. Your welcome.
ken

hey ken......if made this joke up..then thanks..i had a good laugh, especially from the last one...if you rcvd it in an email like i did and then posted it to a forum that you frequent....(mine showed it had been passed around to a few thousand people) you shouldn't assume that i copied it from your post in a different forum(i didnt see it by the way, but i bet it is really similiar:rolleyes :) ..have a good day and please post the next funny one you get here as well..it will save me the trouble.