Dishwashers and decent knives don't mix. I wouldn't put any kitchen knife I cared about in a dishwasher, neither would the vast majority of "knife people". As for the rest, my personal choice would be a Stretch, but I don't worry about scaring people. If you're talking folders, and money is no object, I'd suggest the Centofante Memory. Thin full flat ground VG-10 blade, and a very non-threatening appearance. If you're not in a hurry, the upcoming Large Kiwi would also be a good choice.
I think a caly 3.5 in vg-10 is a great eating folder, but a larger brown calypso sprint would be even better (I really want one). Regarding cleaning, be careful to keep food out of the pivot area as the first defense.
Yes definitely keep all good knives out of the dishwasher. Dish washer detergents are generally at least slightly abrasive so they will dull your knife in no time. Hand washing of knives is preferred. But I agree with the VG10 steel suggestions as mentioned above. Also a pacific salt may be a good option as this is 100% rust proof but H1 steel does not hold an edge as long as VG-10. Good luck!
Caly 3.5, PM2, Southard all work for me. I use them regularly for lunch although I like my Laguiole best when it comes to eating. So Spyderco RL01 Ramco Laguiole would be a sweet option, if you can find one
Current EDC: Techno, Squeak, Southard Flipper, Caly 3.5